The Girl Who Lived
by Lily Rain21
Summary: Sirius's daughter after a tragic accident tries to find herself by falling in love with Harry and trying to find her mysterious mother she fights her way through death heartbreak and pain to stand alongside Harry in the end to save life as they knew itR
1. Chapter 1 The Orphan

°×Disclaimer Note×°  
Okay so I made some mistakes. :) surprise lol. So I redid this chapter. I needed to add some stuff in it. Sorry :) hopefully you will like it better and it will make more since! Sorry for the mishap. Hope you enjoy the story :) Enjoy:)

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"And all that has been said and done. I can't imagine my life without you. I can't go on because I don't know how to live my life without your smiling face. I've been sittin here staring out into the ugly depths of the fast moving river, and I wanna jump off this bridge so bad. To feel that cold icy water fill into my lungs and make all of this pain go away. I want it to go inside me and make me numb, numb to all of this pain I've endured. It's to much without you. You were supposed to be my savior. You have left me so cold and lonely. You taught me so many things, but you never taught me how to live, oh never how to live without you. I'm all alone in this cold hard world oh please-oh please take me away. I'll jump from this bridge oh I'll jump from this bridge to leave this world behind me, and maybe you will come after me…" Holly sings away. She tries to sing softly but her voice caries. It starts to get louder and louder. 

"Holly!" I hiss at her.

Fear was rising in me, it's 4'o clock in the morning and if Ms. Parlington hears her she will have a week in the basement. Which is really not a basement at all, but a 5 by 6-foot room with no windows that smells of urine, filled with cold hard stone, damp because it has a horrible leak. Everyone that has been sent down there doesn't come back the same. A couple of kids have gotten really sick and died down there. I didn't want Holly to die. She was my best friend. However, I couldn't help but think that maybe jumping off that bridge into the water wouldn't be so half-bad. I don't know how much longer I can stand a life like this. Stuck here in this horrible place. I wanna run away so bad, but I have no where to run to.

"What? I don't know how long I can stand it without Kyle! I miss him so much! You just don't understand it!" Looking wildly around to see if anyone awoke from her yelling I climb over into her bed, which is right next to mine.

"Shush! If anyone knew…if anyone knew that you and Kyle had had a relationship! He never loved you! When will you see him for what he was! See that he was just using you to get what he wanted--sex! It wasn't real Holly! Please understand!"

She faced me completely her cold blue eyes pierced into mine. Her hands balled up into fists and I could tell she was completely and utterly furious with me. She became this way when I spoke illy of Kyle and their "relationship". She was my best friend but she was completely stupid and so immature. I couldn't believe some of the things she had done. She was only 12 same as me, but she did things I had never even dreamed of.

Her voice was quiet but harsh. It pierced into me like a dagger, "He wasn't like that and you know it. You're just angry because Rick doesn't have real feelings for you! Not like Kyle did for me. Kyle was better than Rick he didn't force me into anything he really did love me!" Her voice rose as she spoke.

Tears sprang into my eyes and I bit my lip to try to keep them back. I didn't want her to see how bad she had hurt me. Kyle and Rick had been so much older, in fact they were way to old for us, however, for some reason we still sought them out. We both had known they were to be trouble, but that never stopped us. Trouble was our middle name, and maybe it's my own fault for what had happened.

It's hard being all alone as a child. Knowing that the two people in your life that are really supposed to love you more than anything don't, and just dropped you off somewhere horrible so they wouldn't be burdened with you. I knew nothing about my parents, except for some nights I would have strange dreams. Strange strange dreams that involved bursts of light and people holding sticks. It was never really a full dream. Just bits and pieces of images and shouts and screams that filled my brain and stuck with me until I woke up and found that most of the screams were coming from me.

One night after one of these dreams I awoke to find Rick at the bottom of my bed sitting staring at me. "You mustn't be afraid." He had told me in that soft calming voice that he had.

I remember I sat up and stared at him. Just stared not saying anything. But I just stared into those big chocolate brown eyes. His lips were so full and juicy looking. The way they were slightly parted and how when he talked they just seemed to flow with his words. His blonde hair was short and spikey. Just like in the movies I had seen with the biker dudes. We only got to see these kinds of movies on special occasions of course, but he was just like a dream.

Then he scooted closer and closer until he was right beside me. He placed his hand on the other side of me which caused him to lean across me. "Your beautiful." He had whispered. I remember I laughed. I knew that I wasn't. My hair was a mess and I was bony and stick-like. No where close to beautiful.

Then he leaned in and kissed me...hard. Pinning my arms down onto the bed he gripped them tightly so that I could not move. Those full luscious lips that I had thought were so wonderful, were like sandpaper scraping at my own lips and tearing them apart. Breaking away from me I tried hard to scream, but I was paralyzed with fear. Wildly I searched for Holly but she wasn't in the room...no one was. We had four people to a room, and apparently my room mates had sought sleep somewhere else during this bitter winter night.

Trying to muster all of my strength I yanked and shook and scratched at whatever I could find to make him stop. Nothing absolutely nothing would make him stop. Finally he punched me in the face and covered my mouth.

Leaning close to me he whispered with his whiskey smelling breath, "If you continue to fight it, then you'll just make it worse. You will make it more horrible than you could ever imagine. So stop if you know what's good for you, got it?"

Saying nothing I laid there shaking as he raised my nightgown leaving me absolutely bare and exposed. I wanted to scream and kick and run away, but I knew no one would save me. No one could...I was all alone just as I had always been.

He was unzipping his pants and pulling something out...my heart was beating faster. I knew nothing of what he was about to do. No one was here to explain it to me, but I wished that I could have found out the normal way of what was supposed to happen with a woman and a man. This...this was not the way to learn.

Pain seared through my body. Screaming with pain I shut my eyes tight. I did not want to know what was going to happen. I wanted to die right then and there. I did not like how my life was turning out. The pain did not stop and my fear just elevated. This was in no way pleasurable.

That's when I heard him laugh. Laughing...he was laughing and moaning and happy. How could someone be happy from another person's pain? Pulling it out he placed some sort of white liquid all over my stomach. Smiling he zipped up his pants and kissed me on my hot tear stained cheek.

"Have any fun love?" Laughing he got off the bed and ran out of the room and down the stairs. I could hear him calling to all of his friends."Lily! She is such a slut! You should have seen her! All over me...of course I let her have me! I mean come on I couldn't deny her..."

Closing my eyes I tried to shut it all out. All of the memories of Rick. I knew that what Holly and Kyle had done was nothing better than what Rick had done to me. For Holly to say this to me was beyond my disbelief.

"You're such a whore Lily. I know what you did! I know! Rick told Kyle all about it! You slut!" Her eyes were angry and with that she shoved me off the bed and I fell onto my back. Air rushed out of me and I found it hard to breathe. I heard her running away down the stairs.

"Oh my gosh Lily are you alright?" Kate called to me. She was my other roommate. My other one, Clair was also staring at me both looked extremely confused.

"Yea...yea I'm fine." I muttered, slightly embarrassed.

Standing up I crawled back into my bed shutting my eyes tight. I didn't want to explain to the other girls what the fight was about. I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up a new person. I could hear them whispering but I didn't dare pick out the words. I was afraid what they were talking about.

Did everyone believe Rick? Surely not...Rick was so horrible. To think about him made me feel horrible. Like I was the dirty rag we used to clean the floors of the bathrooms.

I didn't understand how Holly could love Kyle...maybe I would never understand it. Kyle had turned 18 and left this home. If that's what you can call it. I don't know what a home is. I have never even had one as far as I know. Rick was going to leave in another year. I knew it would only get worse. What was I going to do? This world was so horrible. Slowly darkness settles in and I begin to fall asleep.

"Oh my gosh! Claire! Lily! Oh my! Claire! Ahhhh! Lily! Wake up! Help...come quick!" Hearing the screams I sit up looking around quizzically. What on earth was Kate screaming about? She comes racing up the stares looking at both of us as if we were dense.

"It's...Holly!" She panted. "Holly...jum-jumped off...the bridge!"

The world seemed to stop spinning, and my heart seemed to stop along with it. Holly? Holly...she had...no. It must be a hoax. It had to be...it just had to be. Everyone was moving in slow motion screaming...I couldn't make out what Kate and Claire were saying to me. Suddenly Kate grabbed my shoulders shaking me violently.

"LILY! WILL YOU SNAP OUT OF IT! DID YOU HEAR ME! SHE JUMPED! SHE _JUMPED_!" Everything turned back to normal and the words finally clicked inside my head.

Quickly I sprang off my bed and raced down the stairs and out the front door. Immediately the cold bit at my bare skin. It was like walking on needles that jabbed into my feet with every step, but I couldn't stop.

I saw her, I saw her limp body. It was clumped in a heap on the ground. She'd missed the river by a foot. Breathing hard I ran. Faster and faster. It was faster than I had ever ran before. Somehow I thought maybe just maybe if I made it to her body she would still be alive, and I could comfort her.

Nearing her body I slowed to a stop. Slowly I walked up to her body, and that's when I really saw she was dead. The look on her face the way her body was just laying there with her limbs sprawled out into different directions. Sobbing I dropped to my knees. Her eyes lay open and the expression on her face was horrible.The snow around her was stained with blood. The sight of her was disgusting but I could not make myself move.

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice break the silence, "She saw me after she jumped. I watched her fall screaming my name all the way down."

Slowly turning I see Kyle. Hatred spreads through my body. Standing up I pushed him hard. He barely moved. Shouting at him, "You! You ass! I hate you! You! You did this to her! You! It is all your fault! All _your _fault!"

I began pounding my fists into his chests. As hard as I could I wanted this to all go away. I wanted it to go back into time and change everything. Pulling me close to him he tries to soothe me.

Breaking away from him I run hard back into the home. There is nothing left for me here. Nothing! My mind races with thoughts. So many thoughts.

"What the hell is she doin runnin like that. I've never seen her run before. Man she is sexy!" Stopping I turn. Tyler was staring at me. With a horrible crooked smile on his face.

Suddenly I heard his voice but his lips weren't moving. _"Oh my God she is starin at me. Oh gosh. Um say something you ass!"_ Could...could those be his thoughts?

Shaking my head I turn myself from him and rush up the stairs to my dormitory. Reaching my bed I see a letter lying on my bed. Ignoring it for the time being I grab a bag that I had been saving for some time now. It had once contained potatoes. Quickly I put the few amount of clothes that I have in the bag.

My heart was racing I had to quickly do this before anyone noticed my presence was missing. Mrs. Parlington couldn't know I was running away, or attempting to. There was still a little room for food. Stuffing the letter in my pocket I go downstairs. Silently I creep towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Fear spreads through me like a bottle rocket. Gripping the bag tight to my chest I slowly turn around to see who had spoken these words. It was only Tyler.

Sighing in relief I hissed, "None of your business! Just leave me alone okay. I'll meet you in the broom closet in 10 minutes! Maybe we can do the dirty okay?" A smile spreads across his lips and he ran away. For a moment I stood silently there in the kitchen. I felt dirty for saying that to him. Maybe I really was a slut. Maybe I had been asking for it...I didn't have long to think about it because in the hall I heard someone scurrying along. Quickly I grabbed some bread that was sitting on the counter and exit the kitchen.

That's when I see who it was that had made the racket. It was Ms. Hickler who was older than old. She didn't even notice me her nose was buried in a book, Hogwarts A History. Frozen I couldn't help but linger trying to get a better glimpse of the book. Something drew me towards this book. Hogwarts was an extremely funny name and unordinary name. On the front held a picture of a castle. Something was moving. No it wasn't possible. Pictures didn't move. Trying to look closer I definitely thought I saw it move, and it looked as if the lights were flashing inside the castle.

Hearing the back door close I jumped and darted down another corridor so as to avoid Ms. Hickler just in case she wasn't that distracted by that book. Running as fast as I could I darted out the front door. People were everywhere. I was almost gone forever. All I had to do was cross the bridge. The bridge. My feet halted at the beginning of it. I couldn't bring myself to go near it. So many people were still by it what if Mrs. Parlington saw me?

Taking a deep breath I knew I had to go. I knew this would be my only chance."Come on!" I shouted to myself. Slowly I made my way calmly through the wave of people. Kyle was hovering over Holly's body and seemed to be crying. Could he have really loved her?

That's when I saw Mrs. Parlington. She was also standing by Holly but she had her back to the bridge. She was extremely flustered. She would probably be sued for letting this happen to one of her kids. That was the only reason she was appeared sad. The woman had absolutely no compassion for us or anyone. It's a wonder she had ever been married.

Taking my attention off of Holly and everyone else I put it back on my destination. Walking calmly past the mourners my heart started to beat even faster. Suddenly my brain went haywire. _"Go! Go! Run you fool! She is coming! Ms. Parlington has seen you! Run! Run!"_ I don't know how I knew that but I didn't stop to think about it any longer. Quickly I raced across the bridge. Soon I heard screaming.

"No! Stop you horrible creature! Stop! Stop! Someone catch her! Hurry don't let her go away!" Her voice rang through the night. I didn't stop I wouldn't. If I died it didn't matter as long as I was far away from that place. As long as I never had to see those people again.

Ripping through the trees I ran. Through a deserted path, across someone's newly mowed lawn. Splashed through a lake. Then finally came to a rest at a tree. It was really dark, and I was severely out of breath. Gasping I fell down. Putting the bag under my head I closed my eyes.

Hopefully I had lost them in the dark. Maybe I had outran everyone. I highly doubted that they tried to hard to find me. She would tell everyone that I had killed myself in the river and was floating down it now...

Touching my pocket I made sure the letter was still there. Holding it out I let the moonlight catch it. Hogwarts...I had seen that name before. Where had I seen it? It was right on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't remember. I was to tired to concentrate to hard about it. Yawning I Stretched and pulled the blanket from my bed that I had snatched and fell fast asleep in the moonlight.


	2. Chapter 2 The Vision Part 1

°×Dislcaimer Note×°

I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. Except of course for my character. This chapter connects into the next one. There are two parts. I hope you like it. R&R thanks :)

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"No! Wha...no Meredith! Get Lily! Get her she's your daughter! Stop, no!" There was screaming and then a flash of green light which caused me to wake up screaming. Then sunlight streamed into my eyes. Squinting I shield my eyes and turn around away from the Sun.

Leaning back on the tree I try to remember my dream. There had been two women. One with red/brown hair and one with brown. The one who had brown hair had been the one named Meredith. She had been standing by a crib with me inside. The other one had been holding another baby. I couldn't remember much more.

A sudden loud cooing brought me back to reality. Looking around I saw in the next tree an owl. An owl in daylight how could that be? Owls were nocturnal animals why would it be awake in the daytime?

It flew from the branch and landed my lap dropping a piece of parchment on my lap. Taken back I pick up the letter and look at it. Another letter from Hogwarts. Putting it next to the other one I study the owl.

"Well hello big guy. You are a guy right? Well...um I don't wanna check so I'll just say you are."

He was black, but he was so black he was almost blue. His chest was white and then a white moon shaped crescent was on his head. Then his tail looked like he had dipped it into white paint. His wings were dappled with a light gray. It wasn't very noticeable though.

"Well you aren't a very pretty bird are ya?" He cocked his head at me. His eyes looked very sad. They were turning a very electric blue. He was reflecting the color of my eyes!

"Wha...how are you doing that?" Trying to distract myself from his eyes I study him a bit more.

He seemed to be a young bird because he wasn't very big. So maybe he was just at his awkward stage, kinda like me.

Turning my attention away from him I pick up the letter he delivered me. Ripping it open I see it's jam-packed with stuff. Randomly I pick one of the parchments.

A key falls out. It's not an ordinary looking key. It's huge, bulky, but light as a feather. Setting it aside I look at the parchment I had chosen. It reads:

Dear Ms. Lily,

I have enclosed the key to your Gringotts vault. (Wizarding bank) Your vault number is 223. There is a very large fortune there for you. Please spend it wisely. Remember you have 7 years of school supplies that you will have to purchase. There is a map enclosed for you of Diagon Alley, which is in London. This is to help you find your way around there since you're alone. The owl that brought you this message is yours. She was born a couple months ago. She has no name so you will need to name her. Seeing as you have her you will not need to purchase a pet for Hogwarts. The Hogwarts train will leave at precisely 11 o'clock a.m. no later no earlier. So please be at the train station platform 9 3/4 on September 1. We will be pleased to see you!

-Professor Minerva McGonagall

Wizarding bank? Diagon Alley in London? There was no city in London named Diagon Alley. I re-read it many times but it doesn't make anymore sense than the first time I read it.

I'm distracted yet again by the owl. She is pecking at my backpack. "Hey! Quit that." Shooing her she looks at me a little taken back. "Sorry. Here."

Reaching in the backpack I pull out a piece of bread and give it to her.

"Sorry about thinking you were a guy. I guess I could make it up to you by giving you a name, huh?" Studying her I try to think of a really unique and cool name. "Hmmm. What should I call you?" She doesn't respond to me.

She just pecks furiously at the bread. She seemed to be as hungry as I was. Leaning my head against the tree I close my eyes. What could I name her? My mind churns with names.

"How about spotty?" I ask her. She looks up from her bread and gives me a harsh look. "Okay no to that. Well you do have a half moon crescent on your head. So let's see...what about...Moony?" Reaching out I put my right hand on her little crescent moon shaped spot.

The world goes black and the wind is knocked from me. Gasping for air I grope at something to grab onto. Had I gone blind? Cold air blasted me and I began to fall. I tried to scream but my voice failed me. Then stone walls came rushing at me and hundreds of students in uniforms came into view. It was like I was racing past all of them.

Finally I come to an abrupt spot directly in front of a dark haired boy with very unruly hair and glasses. He walks right through me and begins to shout, "Hey Moony! Hey over here!" Turning I see the boy he's calling to.

That is weird that I had named my owl Moony and this boy's name was Moony. That's a weird name for a boy.

Then I see the boy next to the boy with unruly hair. He looks oddly familiar. He had black hair, gray eyes, and high cheekbones. Almost exactly like me. He looked almost exactly like me. Except we had very different eyes. Our eyes were both filled with mystery though. The way he did his little half smile and laughed it was the same as me. He had this evil grin and the way his eyes darted around as if he was planning something.

Then I wondered why was I here? What was happening to me was I having a vision? Is this what you would call this experience. I thought they came in choppy flashes of pictures. So first I could read minds and now I have visions also. It had to do with that letter I had gotten from Hogwarts! Why hadn't I read the other one? It might have made more sense!

Then Moony interrupted my thoughts. He was speaking to the guy that looked a lot like me. "So Sirius have ya talked to Meredith yet?"

Meredith? The girl from my dream! She had been my mom! So could Sirius be my dad? It would explain the similarities. Sirius smiled his evil grin...my evil grin.

"No not yet. I have a good feeling about it though." His voice was cool and calm.

Moony seems to force a smile on his face. He was hiding something. _"Man Sirius gets all the girls. I was supposed to get Meredith. I wish that I could get any girl that I wanted. How can he talk to girls so easily? James thinks he can, but he's not any better than I am..."_

Moony had a crush on my mom, and who was James? Could he be the boy with the unruly hair?

"Hey has anyone seen Wormtail?" Asked the other boy with unruly hair. Before anyone could answer a boy walked up to them.

He was tall and lanky. His hair was greasy and slicked back and he had an unusually large nose that had tones of little pimples on it. He was staring hatefully at Sirius.

"That was not funny Sirius Black. I will get you back for that. This is not over yet." His voice was low and chilling. The skin on my back crawled.

"Oh shut it Snape. You know as good as I that I had nothing to do with that." Smirking he added, "Maybe you should keep better control of your wand."

The other two boys began to giggle uncontrollably like little schoolgirls. Sirius had put on an evil smile trying hard not to laugh.

Snape's eyes were now on fire with hatred. He looked as if he could have killed Sirius right then and there.

Then I remember back what Sirius had said. Had he said...wand? Lost control of his wand? No that couldn't have been what he said. My father didn't practice witchcraft.

Snape had started off but what he was thinking caught my attention. _"Stupid imbeciles! They will all get what is coming to them. I will be there to watch them crash and burn. The Dark Lord..."_

He had gone to far away for me to keep intercepting his thoughts. The Dark Lord? Um...what? I wonder what he had meant by that.

Then I hear Sirius call out, "Hey Meredith!" Turning I see my mother. She has long bouncy brown hair with brown eyes. She wasn't the prettiest girl. I look nothing like her. Sirius walked over to her and began talking to her.

Then Moony leaned over to the other boy and whispered, "Hey looky over there its Lily." Turning to where he was pointing I see a red haired girl who looks rather uncomfortable.

The boy smirked and puffed out his chest then ruffled his hair. He then began to strut around in circles. That must be James I thought. Moony had said he wasn't good with girls. James had to be off his rocker or no nothing at all about what a girl wants to be acting like that to try and get Lily's attention.

Lily had rolled her eyes and tried hard to look away from him. He was putting off a show though. It was kinda hard to not stare at him. Everyone was pointing at him and laughing.

Staring at Lily I listened into her thoughts. _"Ugh he's so arrogant. He looks so fruity prancing around like that. How could he think I would think that would be cute? Then why am I so attracted to him? Maybe if I ignore him some more he will act a little more mature on his attempts to get me to like him..."_

She turned on her heels and stalked off. Which left Moony trying to get James attention and tell him that she had left. He blushed and stood awkwardly next to Moony.

Ignoring them I tried to think about Sirius. If he was my dad then why had he left me and put me in an orphanage. The thought brought tears to my eyes. Had he not loved me? Had my mom not loved me?

The walls seemed to be speeding and racing past me again. The air rushed out of me again and the coldness swept over me. It seemed to happen faster this time.

Finally I was back in the woods again. I was still seated against the tree. Moony had her head cocked up at me with a curious look on her face. Staring at her I gasped, "Moony you won't believe what just happened to me..."

I knew it was a little odd to be sitting there talking to Moony about my vision, but who else was there to talk to? The only friend I had ever had was Holly. Holly...my stomach jerked, and my throat tightened. I tried to fight back the tears. Even though I was trying not to cry it still hadn't really hit me that she was dead.

Moony had grabbed the other Hogwarts letter and was trying to hand it to me. Ripping it open I quickly skim over it. It was an expectance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I've been excepted to a school I've never heard of, ran away from "home", lost my best friend, read peoples minds, and had a vision of my dad and my mum at their old school in the last two days." Tears flooded my eyes as I told Moony. My life had taken a dramatic change. It would never be the same again. I was afraid of what was next but ready for it to come. Moony came and hopped up on m laugh then chirped at me. I think she was trying to comfort me.

Then I remembered the other letter. Of course! Moony was the pet I needed. I had had a supply list and a pet owl was on there. So that was one thing I didn't need. Diagon Alley was a Wizarding town in London so of course I had never heard of it!

Rustling through the pages I find the map of Diagon Alley. Opening it up I see a little mini me on the paper. Then a replica of where I am. There was a small highlighted path of where I was supposed to go. Shooing Moony off of me I gathered everything up and stuffed it in my bag. Slinging the bag over my shoulder I picked up Moony and put her on my other shoulder. Looking at the map I take a deep breath. "We have a long road to travel on Moony. Wherever we are going it's better than what we are leaving behind."

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Okay so that's the end! Hope ya liked it Please please review! Thanks! I already have the 3rd chapter written. So all I have to do is put it onto the computer! So hopefully it will be up soon! 


	3. Chapter 3 The Vision Part 2

°×Dislcaimer Note×°

I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. Duh. I did make up the character Lily Rain Black all on my own. another duh...Please no flames...constructional criticism or w/e is okay but no flames. I didn't do this in the first chapter so I thought I would do it in the 3rd one...possible coupling pairs.

harry and lily  
hermione and ron  
Thats as far as I've thought...lol I'll let ya know if there's gonna be any other! okay :D

Chapter 3: The Vision Part 2

I don't know how far I have walked, but it was the farthest I had ever been. Hopefully I would never have to walk this far again on my own two legs. By now I had reached London. People were bustling about giving me strange looks and trying to keep out of my way.

I knew that I looked incredibly stupid. Seriously who walks around with an owl resting on their shoulder? It was really embarrassing I knew that I smelled and looked grungy.

A part of me wondered why no one felt sorry for me and offered to help me. I guess they could tell I was some sort of outcast or something. But I was only 12.

Grasping the map harder to my chest because I didn't want anyone to take it away from me. It was magic. Every once in a while I would glance down at it to make sure I hadn't wandered off in the wrong direction. About mid-day I finally found the entrance to Diagon Alley. Or at least it said that I was by the entrance. The map said that if I turned to my right the entrance would be right there. However, there was no alley there just an old sort of run down building that I hadn't even really noticed.

Studying the map I noticed the little ribbon showing me where I was supposed to go was bobbing up and down and reading: The Leaky Cauldron. Turning I study the old building again. It was extremely old and looked as if it would fall at any moment. Biting my lip I tried to keep from crying. It had to have been a prank. This whole thing was some sick prank someone from the Home had pulled on me. They made it where I had to walk all the way to London where I would prolly be picked up any moment and put into a Home here.

Suddenly Moony takes flight off my shoulder and flies out of my view. Making quite a few people jump and dodge away from her. My heart fell. My only friend had left me. Now I felt even more alone.

Sighing I walked over and sat on the old buildings window. My bag fell to the ground and I put my head in my hands. Why did everything happen to me? Kicking a lonely rock on the ground I look around at my surroundings. There are a bunch of shops everywhere and cars are racing on the streets. People are everywhere like little ants.

Suddenly I hear a big booming voice say, "Alright Arry! Here we are! Ahh is this what you were referring to little owl?"

Looking up I see a huge man standing in front of me that basically towers over everyone around him. Moony swoops down and takes her rightful place on my shoulder nipping at my hair as if to say, "See...see look what I did for you!"

Smiling at him I extend my hand. "Hello...my name is Lily Black. What's yours?" His black eyes widen in amazement and he grabs my hand merrily. Even through all the hair on his beard and mustache I could tell he was smiling. "Hagrid...Rubeus Hagrid. How do you do Ms. Lily Black. I've heard much about you."

Winking he turned to the side of him and that's when I noticed the boy. His green eyes were the first thing that caught my attention. It seemed that he could see into my soul. That he could see every ounce of pain that was in me. Like he knew what it was like and that I wasn't all alone in the world like I thought. Glasses that had been broken to many times in the past framed them. Then his hair was all in a mess on his head, but on him it didn't look that bad. The way it fell in odd directions and then swooped sideways across his forehead.

Then there was an unusual scar right in the middle of it all. It was a lightning bolt. How could you have a lightning bolt scar? Then as I continued to stare at him awkwardly I realized something. He looked oddly familiar. The hair, face, glasses...they all seemed so familiar. Where had I seen them before? Then a picture flashed in my mind. The boy! The boy I had seen in my vision! He had looked somewhat like the boy standing in front of me now! Could this be the same one? Then I remembered the boy in my vision hadn't had green eyes. Maybe they are brothers or something.

Suddenly Hagrid spoke up. His booming voice taking me out of my trance. "Harry this is Lily Black! You were friends with her before the accident. She was um...a...err the daughter of your dad's best friend!" His eyes lit up and he turned back to me a smile widening across his face.

"Hey! I'm Harry Potter!" He had the silliest grin on his face that I couldn't help but smile to. Then he stuck his hand out for me to shake. Taking his hand politely I felt a sudden jerk.

Suddenly I wasn't in front of Harry anymore. The blackness came rushing in and knocked the air out of me. Flying backwards I felt the icy coldness fill in my lungs and scratch my throat as I breathed it in.

Suddenly I was standing in someone's hallway. There was the clinking of dishes ahead. Slowly I walked towards the noises. "So when do you think Meredith is coming home? She's seemed more and more distant lately." Turning I see Two men and a woman who is feeding two children that are about 2 years of age. I immediately recognize all of them this time.

One is James who must be Harry's father. The other one is the rude boy...could this be _my_ father? My heart skipped a beat. He looked sadder than he had in my earlier vision. His hair was sort of messy and his eyes were distant. It was clear he was going through some stressful times. The woman appeared to be Lily. She had gone with James after all. It was clear she was Harry's mother her eyes were the exact same as her son's.

Studying the other baby I realized it was me. It had to be. It was weird standing there in my old house staring at something that happened so long ago. What had happened that had destroyed this life? Suddenly the baby me's eyes shot towards where I was standing. They were looking directly at me. It sent chills up my spine. Whirling around I scanned the other room. There was nothing else to look at. I was staring at myself. I knew I was there. Then I raised my chubby hand and pointed in my direction then made a sort of, "Ehie" sound.

Lily looked up and looked at where I was pointing. "Hush now child. There's nothing there. I bet your mother will be here soon." Her smile was so warm and kind to me. Never in my life had anyone given me a look with such love filled in it.

"Sirius! What's wrong?" Turning I looked at the other man. He was slumped farther down in the chair and appeared to be asleep. It didn't look like it was a very peaceful sleep though. James quickly shook Sirius and whispered something in his ear. Finally Sirius was awake.

Clearing his throat he whispered, "Sorry...I've not been myself lately..." Before he could finish the door burst open. There stood a woman with brown hair that flowed almost to her waist. Her eyes were a sort of grayish color and seemed to be scanning the room nervously. I could tell she was extremely uneasy here.

"Sorry...sorry...I got a bit um...tied up."

Suddenly Sirius's face lit up and he looked like the boy I had seen in my other vision.

"Hello lovely!"

He bounced out of his chair and moved to hug her. However, something else was on her mind. She moved out of the way and started glancing around. Sirius still stood near the door his arms held outwards as if she had never moved. Slowly his arms came to his sides and stared out the open door. Grabbing the handle of it he seemed to be thinking hard about something. It was unnaturally quiet except for the shuffles of Meredith's feet as she wandered around the room.

Suddenly Sirius slammed the door shut and it seemed to rattle the whole house. Spinning around his eyes boared into Meredith. She didn't seem to notice though because she was still wandering around the room her eyes scanning everything that moved.

"What is wrong with you!" Sirius bellowed. She didn't seem to hear him. Finally she stopped and was looking right at me and finally pointed right at me.

"There." she whispered. Everyone turned. Slowly I backed up looking wildly around. My heart pounding hard in my chest. Had she seen me? How...how could she see me?

"That's where Lily pointed to earlier." Lily said quietly.

Meredith's gaze quickly shifted to the younger me then back to me then repeated this several times.

"Someone's presence is standing just there. I can feel them..." Everyone turned to study me except I had a feeling they had no idea what to study. I had gotten my gift from my mother. She can read minds just as I can.

Then I noticed she seemed to be slinking away. Sirius then turned hastily towards her.

"What...what is wrong with you?" Just then the front door flung off the hinges. Screaming I flung myself on the ground and crawled over to the other side of the room. Shaking I watched as everyone began running wildly around. Meredith just stood frozen in her spot. Sirius and James stood pointing these wooden stick things at the intruder.

"Go! Take the children to safety!" James shouted. Like a rocket Lily had grabbed Harry and me and was racing out of the room.

There was a hood over the intruder's face but I could hear him laughing. Slowly Meredith turned and walked calmly out of the room. To calmly...I watched her carefully. Why was she acting so strange? Why isn't she afraid? Everyone else seems to be. Why is she so calm?

Suddenly Sirius went flying through the door and out the window of the living room. "Dad!" I yelled. I knew he couldn't hear me and even if he could me yelling dad would do nothing.

"You killed my friend! He was my best friend...how dare you." James growled. My heart flip-flopped. _Killed_...did he say killed? Flashes of light flew all over the place.

They seemed to be dueling...I couldn't tell who was winning. Watching intensely my eyes never moved from James. He was moving so swiftly and skillfully. Then suddenly the other guy seemed to grow tired of fighting James. Then a green light came flying out of his wand and James fell to the floor dead.

Stifling a scream I slinked out of the room and up the stairs to where Lily and Meredith had gone. If Meredith could see me why couldn't this guy? He seemed unbelievably powerful. Scampering up the stairs I looked wildly around for which room they went into.

Suddenly everything went black again and I appeared in the room where they were. No sooner had I gone in their when this door was flung off its hinges also. Flattening Meredith against the wall. For some reason this didn't bother me. There was something shady about her and I didn't like it. Flinging the door off of her she leaped up onto her feet and just stood there staring at Lily and the intruder.

"Meredith quick grab Lily!" Lily looked frantically at her but she just stood there with a blank expression on her face. I wanted so bad to read her mind, but I couldn't focus hard enough to.

"Meredith get your child!" Lily yelled more frantically.

Meredith looked down at the little me. Then suddenly she sprang forward and leaped out of the window. There was a loud crack sound and I never heard her hit the ground.

"You are all alone now. How does it feel?" He laughed as he said it. His voice chilled my very soul. Harry and me were both in a crib and Lily began backing us up in it.

"Please don't hurt them. Take me...don't take them! Please don't hurt them!" He began to approach her. His stick extended.

"No!" I yelled. How was I gonna survive. My palms began to shake and I broke out in a cold sweat. Suddenly the blackness surrounded me, but I didn't notice the chill this time. The man's voice had chilled me too much already.

Soon I was looking into the green eyes of Harry. Quickly I let go of his hand, which cause me to fall down on the ground breathing heavily. The world was spinning and closing in on me, but this time the blackness didn't lead to another vision...


	4. Chapter 4 The Animagus Reunion

°×Disclamer Note×°

I'm re-doin it again :) it was to short so im adding some more stuff okay?

please r&r :) thanksss.

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"Lily? Oh me goodness 'Arry...erm...help...me..." 

The voices faded in and out. My heart seemed to be racing. Where on earth was I? Blinking rapidly I saw I was in a sort of pub. On an incredibly squeaky table with Harry's green eyes piercing into mine making my heart flutter even more than it already was.

"Are ya alright there Lily?" Hagrid questioned looking incredibly worried. I hadn't ever had an adult worry about me like this.

"Oh ha...ya I'm fine. It's just been a while since I ate. I've been traveling by myself from the orphanage." I was humiliated. My first new friends and I had made a fool of myself by passing out.

Hagrid looked slightly confused. "Ah yes Dumbledore told me bout that. If ya'd just waited a bit longer Dumbledore woulda come for ya. But ya went runnin off..." He trailed off upon seeing my face.

How could I have been so stupid? If I had just waited a bit longer things would have been loads easier on me. I wouldn't have had to travel all this way.

"Well come on now. I'll help ya with your shopping you can be of company to Harry he's a first year too!"

Smiling at Harry we both fell into step behind Hagrid...

* * *

Sitting up fast I looked around half expecting to be looking into those big coal loving eyes of Hagrid and the emerald green eyes of Harry. However, I saw neither. Instead of their eyes there was a cold hard brick wall. It was Dull with color and cold with unfriendliness much unlike Harry and Hagrid and all of Hogwarts. 

Memories from the last two years of Hogwarts filled my mind. How Harry filled most of my thoughts and dreams and how me and Hermione would secretly talk about him and Ron secretly when they were not anywhere near us which was almost never.

Friends like these I had never had in the orphanage. Never would I forget Holly but Hermione, Harry, and Ron held a new kind of friendship. One like I had never experienced or seen in my life. We had each others backs. We were all very close and I couldn't imagine my life without them now.

However, I still refused to tell any of them of my past life. I didn't want them to know that I was worse off than Harry. Harry had a family, however, I had no one but the cold streets. None of them had really brought it up which I was thankful about. It was a secret no one needed to know about.

Suddenly I heard footsteps. Quickly I through my blanket off and pressed myself up against the wall trying my best to hide myself. I knew this was a lost cause, but I didn't want anyone to find me here. I was fearful one day I would awake and there would be some guy like Rick there to take advantage of me. If I kept myself out of sight maybe I could be left alone.

The steps were coming faster and closer now. Fear was searing through me. Closing my eyes I willed myself to hide. To become one with the stone wall that I had plastered to.

Suddenly I felt myself...sort of changing. Was I forming into the stone wall? Had I developed a new power? Slolwy I opened one eye and peeked at myself. Trying to scream I stumbled over, only nothing came out. Instead it was a bark. I was...furry...how...how could this have happened? Was I a dog? Turning my head I looked at my backside. It was black and my fur was sticking out everywhere my legs stood long and powerful. Wagging my tail I barked running around in circles.

Suddenly I felt a presence. Looking up slowly I found I was looking into the eyes of a man I had seen some years ago, looking into these eyes seemed as if I was looking into a mirror. Fear lessoned and I felt myself change back into a myself again. Standing there in front of him I cocked my head. Should I be afraid? What if he was not the man I thought he was?

"Hello." I whispered faintly. He said nothing just stared at me. Could this be him? He was staring at me with amazement and wonder. Squirming I cleared my throat hoping he would say something eventually.

"Sweetheart." His eyes filled with tears and his arms extended just as they had to my mother that horrible night. I didn't hesitate. I didn't give up the chance as my mother had done. I didn't let my chance slip away. Spreading my arms I flung myself into his chest. I must have knocked the win out of him because he made a sort of gushing noise and then laughed. He smelled absolutely horrible but I did not complain for I knew I probably smelled just as horrible or possibly worse.

"Daddy." The word rolled pleasantly off my tongue. I loved the feel of it. I loved how my tongue just sort of rolled it and the world flip flopped around in my mouth like a peppermint. Forever had I wanted to say that word. Forever had I wanted this feeling to wash over me. To feel his arms embrace me as if he would never let me go again.

"Let me have a look at you!" His voice was light and airy almost as if he was singing the words to me.

Smiling he grabbed my shoulders and stepped backing taking a good look at me. "Oh yes. You are definitely a daddy's girl, yes? Gorgeous completely gorgeous you look more like your mother, but those eyes and smile belong to me."

All I could do was smile. He was wonderful. Better than I had ever imagined. I disregarded how his eyes were sullen and sunken back into his head. Or how his smile was stretched like he had not done it for some time now. And that his clothes were ripped and his hair was long and shaggy clearly unkept. To me he was the best looking dad anyone could ever as for, and I wouldn't trade him in for the world.

That's when the vision came burning back into my memory. James's words:_ "You killed my friend! He was my best friend...how dare you." _

"But...dad...James...he said you were dead." The words came rushing out of my mouth like water out of a dam. I forgot myself and couldn't hold it back I just had to know. I didn't know how much time I had with him. He had to answer all of the questions that I had.

He suddenly seemed extremely surprised. His eyes lit up just like they had when he had seen Meredith. "James! You...you know him! He's not dead? You've...you've talked to him then?"

Biting my lip I felt horrible. Had he not known? Did he not know about my powers? Squirming uncomfortably I shifted from one leg to the other. Seeing my actions his smile shattered from his face and his eyes dropped downward once again.

"No...dad...I had a vision of that night...that Voldemort..."

He turned away from me for a moment. Leaning against the building he sighed hugely. "I should have known" he whispered mainly to himself. He seemed so old and broken, but I knew that he couldn't be that old at least in his early 30's.

"Your mother...she could see visions couldn't she?" His eyes seemed so hopeful and yet so scared. I didn't really know what to tell him. I figured he of all people should know. I had expected that she did...but what if she didn't and I was leading him on with false hope?

"I...I'm not really sure. I figured she did...but I have no clue. I do. I just figured you knew and I got the visions from her, but I guess...not?"

We were both silent for a moment. I wanted to ask him why he had left me at an orphanage instead of with Harry. Or...someone...anyone. Why had Harry got the luxury life...no one had even known about me except for a scarcity of people. The boy who lived. Well what about me? I had been there too. What if he had tried to kill both of us at the same time? It wasn't just him. He wasn't the only one that had been there. I had been there too.

"Is she dead?" I dared the question. I didn't really know why of all the questions I had asked that one. She had just seemed so shady and so horrible...I just had to know if she had shared the same fate as Harry's parents. Really I didn't care either way. Why had I asked that? Why?

His eyes suddenly saddened. His head hung and for several moments he didn't move or speak. For a few moments I wondered if he had fallen asleep or if he too got visions.

"After that night everything was so hectic. I went out searching for her, but I had an issue I had to deal with first with a rat. However, that did not work to my advantage. While I was on the run I tried to find her, however, I failed. At one point I thought I saw her but I couldn't be for sure. I went back to the scene and saw Hagrid he did not have you and I thought you had perished as well. He assured me that Dumbledore put you somewhere safe, but he did not know where and that it was best this way..."

He trailed off for several moments as if to say something else, but he just didn't know what.

"She was a very confusing woman. She held lots of secrets that she would not let me in on. I figured that she wasn't always...true...but I will not burden you with such information. I believe her to be dead. If she is not then she is not the person I thought she was."

Again he was silent. I felt as if he was holding many secrets from me as well as she had done to him, but I said nothing. I did not want to anger him he already looked as if he was going to fall down with a small touch.

"Lily just promise me. Promise me that, just whatever you hear about me...it's not what you think."

I felt strangely awkward for asking him that question. Of all the questions I shouldn't have asked that one. At least I know that he is not the one that put me in the orphanage. It was Dumbledore of course now I wondered why on earth Dumbledore would put me there.

He hadn't really answered my question of if I really had a mother or not. It seemed as if he had avoided answering the question. It seemed that he didn't really want her to be alive that maybe she had cheated on him? Or was that what he meant by that...

"Lily...you can't stay here. Please...seek shelter with Harry. He will take you in" He pleaded with me.

Shaking my head vigorously. Shelter with Harry? My heart pounded the thought of it made me blush. Besides his aunt and uncle...they would never let me seek hospitality there.

He seemed to be studying me rather severely. "Ah...my precious daughter do you have a certain interest in Mr. Potter?"

I said nothing. What was I to say to something like that? It was so embarrassing. The first conversation with my dad and I had to tell him I had the biggest crush ever on his best friend's son.

"Lily please just do it. I would provide you with a home, but at the moment I can not. It is to dangerous. You can not be seen with me. Don't tell anyone you have even seen me. No one, okay? I know they will, but...I...I have to go now." Seeing my heart stricken look he quickly added, "Don't worry dear. You will see me soon." Hugging me one last time he stepped back having another look at me.

"Please don't go. You've been gone all my life why...why would you...you can't just jump in and then jump right back out!" I was growing agitated.

Why was he doing this? Who could he be running from? He was keeping everything from me. I knew nothing absolutely nothing of my past. Why would he have to be running and not be able to care for me?

For a long moment he seemed extremely disappointed and sad. "Lily please...you must forgive me. One day you will stay with me."

Reaching out to take my hand I jerked away. Sighing he whispered, "I was wrong you are your mother's daughter."

Whirling around I faced him tears rolling down my cheeks. "Do not compare me to her!" I screamed at him. My voice was cracking and I felt like dying. I didn't want him to leave. I would do anything to keep him from leaving.

"Lily...please don't make this harder than it already is!"

Shaking my head I backed farther away from him. "It was hard before you came! It was hard living every day thinking that I had no parents that maybe they just didn't love me enough to take care of me! I was in a horrible place barely getting by! You have no idea what I've been through, and you don't even make a point to see." I spat at him.

Tears were streaming down my face one after the other so fast they were blurring his frame. Embracing me he whispered, "I'm so so sorry baby. This wasn't how it was supposed to be." With that he transformed into a dog and bounded away without looking back.

I stood there all alone in the cold once again. I couldn't believe he had really just ran away like that without even looking back.

_"This wasn't how it was supposed to be." _Those words filled my brain. Running to the edge where I had seen him run away I screamed, "WELL IT'S HOW IT TURNED OUT! SO JUST LEAVE ME THEN JUST LEAVE I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAY! I'VE GONE 14 YEARS WITHOUT YOU WHY SHOULD I NEED YOU NOW!"

Shaking with anger I fell to my knees and sobbed. I heard a couple of dogs barking I wondered if one of them was him. Dread washed over me. I hoped that he hadn't heard me. I did need him.

Moony flew by my side and cocked her head at me.

"Oh Moony...I just made a huge mistake." I told her.

For a moment it seemed as if she actually understood what I was saying to her. She nipped at my fingers and began sort of hopping away.

"What is it girl?"

She started hooting at me still hopping about. Then she jumped up and began to fly circling over my head and hooting at me.

"What is it?" I hissed rather irritated at her. "Why can't you just talk." I muttered to myself.

She flew off a ways and then back at me all the while hooting.

"All right! All right! Stop all your jabbering. I will follow you, dang."

I followed her for about 5 minutes until she stopped and rested on a street sign.

"Oh come on do you really need to take a rest? Where did you want me to go? Or are you just messing with me?"

She started hooting and jumping up and down once again. That's when I read the street sign.

_"Privet Drive" _

My heart stopped. She had lead me to Harry's street.

"Moony! You wonderful bird!"

She had lead me right to where Sirius had told me where to go...

* * *

_ A/N: okay :) there is chapter 4 and hopefully i wont ever have to re-do it again! i hope you enjoyed it please review it to tell me what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5 Which Way Is Home?

°×Disclaimer Note×°

Hey ya'll I know my chapters are kinda short...I'll try to add more. I just don't want them to be tooo extremely long. :) lol please review! thankyew :) oh and p.s. on chapter one its all redone. Sorry the disclaimer note was worded weird. But that chapter is now completely redone lol. Sorry if that caused any confusion.

Oh and by the way. Some of the things expressed in my stories have really happened in Harry Potter...so it is possible it could "ruin" the real story for you if you haven't read it. Most of it is fiction though so you probably won't really be able to tell what I've made up and what I haven't if you haven't read all of the stories...i don't know. Just an alert. :)

* * *

My heart was fluttering so much I felt for sure it would start to fly along side Moony. "Moony!" I hissed at her. She seemed to look down at me. "Which one is his?" She began to fly off toward the right, and 5 houses down she began circling the front yard. Jumping up and down I squealed and ran back to my alley way to grab my stuff. My heart was overjoyed. Would he let me in...would _they _let me in? 

Grabbing my trunk I heaved it all the way to his doorstep and then I stopped frozen. They had already accepted an orphan child why on earth would they accept another? Squirming around I tried to figure out what to do. Slowly I raised my fist to the door ready to knock. However, right before my fist contacted to the door it flung open and I jumped back with surprise tripping over my trunk and falling down onto the sidewalk.

"Lily!" Harry practically yelled. Quickly he went around my trunk and helped me up. "Here get in here fast before they wake up!" Grabbing my trunk I walked inside. Shutting the door behind him he began leading me up the stairs. Warmth immediately started warming up my numb hands and feet. Walking into his bedroom he closed the door behind me and locked it.

"What on earth are you doing? Did you get kicked out of your house?" A look spread across his face for a moment. It sort of seemed like he was happy that i was here. I was quiet for a moment trying to reach into his mind. To hear his deepest thoughts...

_"She looks different this year. She looks extremely pretty. Why is she on my door step?" _

That was all I could listen to. Ever since that night in the forest reading peoples minds had become harder. It must use a lot of magic and hard work to become really good at it. Had my mother been good at it?

"Well...Harry...umm..." Should I tell him? Should I explain to him I had no home? What else could I do? I needed a place to stay. I couldn't spend the rest of my life like this. "I don't really have a place to live, and well Moony...she just kinda lead me here."

He looked completely shocked. "You...you have been living by yourself...all these years?" He must not have remembered the first time we met when I told him that I had lived in an orphanage. We had been so young...it was a long time ago...he obviously didn't remember.

"Why didn't you tell me? Or Hermione...or Ron! You know Ron's parents would let you in! Lily you can't stay here...I mean I would like for you too...but my aunt and uncle..." He trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence. But I was still hooked on the part of the sentence _"I __would like for you too..."_

My heart pounded. "Harry...I can get them to let me stay here. I know I can. If you wish for me to..." A smile spread across his face. "Of course." My heart was pounding hard against my chest so hard I felt for sure he could hear it.

"Um...I'll make a pallet on the ground for me and you can take the bed..." He told me. I felt myself shaking my head vigorously.

"No...no I don't want to make you sleep on the floor! Are you crazy!" He stared at me for a moment. Trying to understand exactly what my words meant.

"Well...I...guess we could..." He whispered staring gently at me. My heart was rushing now. It seemed as if it could be in my throat choking me from words. Smiling just a tad I took off my shoes and crawled into bed scooting all the way over leaving room for him. I suddenly felt the chilling cold that I hadn't realized I had felt earlier. My body temperature had gone down more than I had figured. I felt him crawl into bed beside me. It felt good having him there...having another body beside me. It felt good to not be alone for once.

"Goodnight Lily." He whispered. Turning to face him I looked at his big green eyes. His lightning bolt scar. His hand suddenly reached up and stroked my hair out of my eyes. He seemed to be better with girls than his father had been. Scooting closer to him I shut my eyes and scooted close to his warm body. His arms went around me and soon sleep over came me...

* * *

Waking up sunlight was streaming into the tiny room were we slept. Rolling over I saw him just where he had been the night before. Scooting closer to him I kissed him lightly on the cheek. Slowly his green eyes slid open and upon seeing my eyes staring back into his, his face broke out into an amazing smile. Rolling off my side and onto my stomach I placed my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat hoping this moment would never end. 

Stroking my hair he broke the silence by whispering, "I dreamed of this yesterday. I dreamed of you being here with me. Of waking up and seeing those beautiful hazel eyes staring right back into mine. It's the best birthday present anyone could ever give you. You make my heart beat faster Lily. You always have from that moment I saw you and you passed out from shaking my hand. We've been through a lot together haven't we?"

Turning I looked up at his face. He'd put his glasses on his face and it seemed as if his smile had grown wider. Wrapping my arms around his waist I held him tighter to me. This was perfect. More perfect than I could have ever imagined. For a moment I felt older. As if I was in my twenties and married to the man of my dreams and everything was perfect. That really we weren't in any kind of danger, and that it was just one of those fairy tale ending that everyone dreamed of.

What would Holly think of me now? The thought of Holly and the person I had been so long ago made tears whelp up into my eyes. Burying my face into Harry's chest I refused to think about it.

Harry's hand tilted my chin up to look into his eyes. He saw the tears run down my face. Frowning he whispered, "What's troubling you Lily?"

His voice sounded like he cared so much for me. Like he really cared. No one had talked to me like that. How could I explain to him? How could I tell him the pain that I had endured? There was no way...no not now.

Smiling I wiped the tears away. "Nothing. Nothing at all, I'll tell you one day...just not now okay?"

He didn't look convinced in fact he looked rather irritated, but his Aunt's screaming interrupted him from commenting more on the subject.

"Harry! Harry get down here! Breakfast is ready! I need you to serve it!" Her voice was high pitched and irritating.

It felt as if my whole perfect life had been shattered. It was back to reality. We weren't in a perfect world, and we wouldn't be for some time. Least now I knew what it was like to have someone care for you. I wanted to hug Harry tight and tell him no don't go, but I knew better.

Sitting up I could tell he was greatly worried and troubled. He was scared of what his aunt and uncle would say when I walked down stairs with him. I could tell that without even trying to read his mind. Getting up he grabbed some clothes from his wardrobe and gave me a look. Turning away I let him dress in peace.

"You know...maybe I should just find Hermione or something. I don't want to put this kind of stress on you. I shouldn't stay. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have put this pressure on you. I feel horrible now." Getting out of the bed I glanced over my shoulder to see if it was safe for me to look now, and thankfully it was.

"No don't say that. I want you here. Don't worry I'll talk it into them just..." He trailed off looking me up and down. I knew that he was going to tell me to put some other clothes on, but thought twice of it. He didn't know if I even had any more clothes to put on.

Again I had no idea how I knew this or if it was even right. We stared at each other for a few minutes both afraid to say another word.Walking forward I took his hand and we traveled down stairs together both so afraid of being rejected.

Falling behind Harry he opened the kitchen door and we both walked through. At first, it seemed as if they noticed nothing. That was until after Aunt Petunia spoke, "Harry don't just stand there set the table! What do you think I can do everything by myself?" She shrieked hardly looking up. When Harry didn't move she finally looked up. Her face showed it all. How shocked she was. Her mouth flung open and she sat down in a nearby chair.

"Ver...Vern...VERNON! VERNON!" She was shrieking as loud as she possibly could. Wincing I felt the need to check my ears to make sure they weren't bleeding.

Suddenly a huge man twice the size of a whale came hurtling as fast as his waddling legs could take him into the kitchen towards her voice. "For goodness sakes what is it Petunia!"

Gripping Harry's arm I was afraid of what was going to happen next. He seemed to sense my fear. I didn't want to be thrown out into the cold. I knew I would be for the rest of the summer. For it would take me a month to at least find Hermione's house, and by then the break would be over. Summer's out here weren't nearly as bad as the winter, but at night they did get remarkably cold.

"Look...who...Harry...has...brought...into...this...house!" She breathed recklessly. Clearly shocked at the thought that Harry would dare bring one of his friends into this household.

"WHAT!" He bellowed. I wanted to run but my feet were planted firmly to the ground.

"Do you honestly think that she is welcomed here! We put up with you out of the goodness of our heart! And you...you bring..._her_!" His voice shook the whole house. The walls seemed to bend under his forceful voice. For a moment I truly believed the house would fall from the harshness and cruelty of his voice.

Suddenly I heard a voice without even trying to channel it, _"That's her...that's Meredith's daughter...could it be? No...maybe? I thought she was dead or in hiding! Should we take her in? Or maybe it would be to dangerous to do so. She's filthy just like the boy...if not filthier. She looks dreadful, and much older than she should be." _

Vernon was opening his mouth for another burst of anger when Petunia held up her hand. "Hush Vernon." Looking at Harry's eyes she fell silent again to everyone else but me. I could hear her non moving lips once again, _"Harry likes her. I can feel it. That passion in his eyes. Maybe they will leave, yes she will take him away one day. If she is anything like her mother. She holds the same aurora. Should I be afraid of her? Meredith was so...powerful. She is just as powerful as her mother...I can feel it. That kind of power doesn't go unnoticed. Maybe she even holds more than the boy..."_

My heart began to race. She knew my mother? How...that's right. She is Harry's mom's sister. So Harry's mom and my mom were friends. She must have come over during the summer. Had she not had a family like me? How could a muggle like herself be able to feel power. Could she hold some power of herself?

"She can stay Harry. Just set the damn table." She spoke gruffly. Not daring to look me in the face. Vernon looked like she had just slapped him in the face. Stuttering and making funny noises she lead him out of the kitchen to talk to him.

"That was strange." Harry commented.

Looking up at him I snapped out of my trance. "Oh...haha...ya it was...a little out of the ordinary. Um...here let me help you."

Taking the plates to the table we made it a table for 5 not 4. Soon Dudley entered the room. He took a double take seeing me in the kitchen.

"Whose this Potter? Your new playmate. Daddy let you have a play thing finally? You gonna let me have a go with her as well? Let her see how a real man can do it?"

Spinning around I stared him in the eyes. Immediately I flash backed to the orphanage. Back to Rick and him pinning me to the bed. Going up and down until I would let out a horrific scream. How I would always have bruises and could hardly ever sleep afraid of what I would wake up to in the middle of the night.

Opening my eyes I was brought back to the Dursley's house. The lights were going on and off and everything seemed to be floating. Harry was crouched near me but I was screaming. Why was I screaming? I seemed to float out of my body and watch the whole scene.

Dudley was backed up as far away as he could from me. His smirking face had been shattered with a look of pure terror. My eyes were rolled back into my head. Harry was trying to say something to me. What was he saying? I couldn't hear him from the screaming.

Petunia and Vernon came running into the kitchen. They both stood in the door way frozen. Petunia put her arm across her husbands overlarge body. She covered her mouth. For a moment it looked as if she actually cared. That expression as fast as it came left and was replaced with a look much like her son's of terror.

Suddenly I was back at the orphanage. The room was dark and I could see myself struggling under Ricks embrace...or was it me? No...that wasn't me or Rick. Walking closer I tried to see who it was it was so dark. I couldn't tell...right when I neared the scene and could almost make out who the figures could possibly be a burst of light burned into my eyes and I fell back screaming. Then I found myself back into the Dursley's kitchen. Much to my disappointment.

The lights stopped flashing taking a deep breath I sat up and surveyed the scene. They were all still standing exactly the way I had seen them just a few moments ago.

"Lily? What...what's wrong? Are you alright you shouldn't pay attention to him he's an idiot." He whispered so only I could hear.

Standing up I ignored him and looked at Petunia and Vernon. "Sorry. That won't happen again. Sometimes it's hard to get rid of the past experiences that you wish had never happened. Please forgive me. Don't worry you won't hear a peep from me. Thank you for your hospitality. I had absolutely no where to go."

All 4 them still were looking at me completely shocked. Finally it was Petunia who moved first. She said nothing to what I had said to her. Completely ignoring her she walked over to where breakfast was displayed. Grabbing the helpings she portioned it off to all the plates working around me and Harry.

Harry and I took our places next to each other and watched as everyone else began to eat in silence. Dudley was eyeing Harry's plate of grapefruit but he seemed to afraid to even shoot a glance towards me or my piece of grapefruit. Harry willing just gave him the tiny piece of grapefruit. Dudley savagely stuffed his face with it. Watching him with disgust I looked back down at my piece.

It was dripping with juice and purpliness. Slowly I picked up my plate and offered it to Dudley who looked at it fearfully then back at me. He was clearly thinking hard if he should trust my piece or not. His stomach seemed to win out the battle against hunger and fear.

A knock on the door broke the silence and made all of us jump slightly. Petunia and Vernon exchanged fearful glances. Who could it be that they would be afraid of?

"Vernon...why don't you get it." Nodding slowly he huffed and puffed out of his chair and waddled towards the door. Not ever looking at the 3 of us left she spat, "Get dressed!"

Dudley was clearly surprised at the tone his mother had used was also directed at him. Irritated all 3 of us stood and began moving towards our rooms.

"Are you deaf!" She squealed at us. Turning around I looked at her confused. "She's here already HURRY!"

Slightly taken back we all began to hasten our pace. Getting into Harry's room he shut the door and locked it giving me a harsh look.

"What was that down there! What is going on Lily!" His voice was low but filled with anger.

I didn't know what to tell him. I still didn't want to tell him my life story. The horror that had filled it just two years ago. I couldn't bare to tell him. I had spoken about it to no one. I didn't know if I could tell him right now with out busting out into tears. I couldn't do that right now. Not now.

"Harry...now is not the time. I mean really. Please...let's just get dressed and go back down. I'm lucky enough they are letting me stay." Glancing at him I studied his face to see if he bought this. He seemed to and angrily went rummaging through his clothes and I turned around and did the same.

Changing clothes we both descended the steps and entered the living room at the same time never speaking to one another. Aunt Marge looked surprised to see me.

"Meredith? I didn't expect you to be here."

I froze. Harry looked at me and I looked at the floor for a moment then back up at her. Petunia looked completely stunned.

"How...how did you know Meredith Marge?" She asked.

Marge seemed completely taken back. "How could I not know her! You don't know everything about me Petunia! I don't want you to either!" She growled. She had the same tone and ugliness as Vernon. Rolling her eyes she spoke again, "She came to see me some years ago asking me questions. She had worked for me before she needed money. Someone had referred her to me."

Slowly I sat across from her on the coffee table. "Marge...I'm not Meredith. I'm her daughter." I whispered. My mind and heart were racing. I could feel my brain brewing more questions by the moment. I wanted to shout them all out and get them answered as fast as I spat them out at her.

She looked even more taken back than she had at Petunia's question. "Her daughter!" She bellowed. Rising up she struck me across the face and I fell across the table.

Jumping up anger surged through me and I had to fight the urge to pull out my wand and send her flying backwards. The whole house shook and the lights went out for a few moments.

"LILY!" Harry hissed at me from under his breath.

Taking a deep breath the lights came back on. My anger, however, did not cease. Marge still looked as furious as I did. Why in the hell had she slapped me? I wanted to scream at her to punch to kick to do anything, but I knew better. Walking over to Harry I saw beside him not daring to glance over at Marge who had sat back down talking to Petunia and Vernon as if nothing had happened.

"Why did she slap me?" I asked Harry bitterly.

He looked at me for a moment as if he had to choose his answer carefully. Closing his eyes for a moment he turned away from me and stared back at the TV. I thought he was going to ignore me at first. Then almost silently he whispered, "I don't know."

Saying nothing I adverted my attention to the TV as well. It was the news, and absolutely nothing interesting was going on. Muggle news. I couldn't concentrate on it. That was until a familiar face was brought onto the screen. I almost screamed.

"Oh turn it up Vernon turn it up!" Marge screamed.

Quickly he turned it up. "We have been alerted that a killer is on the loose. He killed 14 people some years ago. He is armed and dangerous. Please if you see this man contact the police immediately."

My heart raced. That was my dad! My dad was wanted for murder...murder? No...it couldn't be. I refused to believe it. That's when I remembered his words to me._ "I knew you were in safe hands and that I would be hunted down. soon...after what they had so curtly assumed I had done. We won't discuss that at the moment. Just remember whatever you hear about me...it's not what you think. I don't want to burden you with that information at the moment."_

"Ha! There's another inbred. Just like Harry's mum...oh no offense to you Petunia. You turned out delightful, but for your sister. Tsk tsk. You know people are like dogs. You don't breed them with the right kind of people...well you end up with good for nothing puppies!"

My mouth hung open. Staring at her in disbelief I had to bite my tongue not to say anything. Glancing at Harry I saw that anger was building up inside him. Placing my hand on his I squeazed it hoping that it might calm him down a little bit. Turning he stared at me for a moment forcing a smile on his face. Then quickly looked away.

"That man...oh he's nothing. Just like Lily was. You know Meredith would talk about her. She liked Lily you know they were friends. I tried to tell her. Oh how many times I tried to tell her she was filth. They both were. The things that their minds were filled with. Then they dump their kids..._their _kids on you Petunia. Poor poor pitiful Petunia. Makes me sick. ANIMALS they are pure blood animals!" Hickuping she took another drink of her wine laughing maniacally.

The hair on my neck was raised and I felt savage like. I wanted to turn into that dog again. I wanted to rip her dog to pieces show her pureblood my ass! Course...for all I knew I could really be pureblood.

The lights began to flicker, and this time it wasn't me. The house was shaking. Apparently she had said more disgusting things about our families since I had been in my fantasy of killing her dog.

"Harry!" I hissed in his ear. He ignored me, he was completely fixated on Marge who was still talking away.

That's when disaster struck. Marge...seemed to be enlarging. The expression on Petunias face was priceless. I had to hide behind Harry to keep myself from laughing. Aunt Marge was blowing up like a balloon and shrieking with terror. Bouncing around the ball just like a basketball.

"Marge! Marge!" Vernon bellowed. It was to late though. By the time he tried to grab her she had broken the window and was flying up into space.

Stifling another fit of laughter I watched as the whole family but Harry and me tried to save her from her new state of bloatedness. Harry stared silently after her. Suddenly a letter came flying in the broken window. Fear flew through me.

This was no ordinary letter. This letter had eyes, evil eyes. It was very very very angry. "Dear Mr. Harry Potter and Ms. Lily Lupin, Due to some certain mystical incidents we have no choice but to expel the both of you from Hogwarts. Thank you." Ripping itself into pieces it fell to Harry's and mines feet.

"See there! See that's what you get, and if you think that you will be able to stay here instead you are sadly mistaken! You are not welcome here or at your school!" Vernon bellowed at the both of them. Shaking from fits of anger.

"FINE" Harry bellowed. Surprised at his own fit of sudden anger I stood silently not knowing what to do. Grabbing my hand he led me away and up the stairs...

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A/N: wow sorry that was a really long chapter. :) i hope you liked it. ill try to get the next chapter up ASAP! please r&r! much appreciated!

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	6. Chapter 6 The Leaky Cauldron

°×Disclaimer Note×°

Hey ya'll hoped you liked the last chapter. well here is chapter 6 :) please r&r much appreciated! Gaurdian-Fawkes-Phoenix: Thank you for pointing out my mistake :) I put that my character's name is Lily Black which it is. But on the howlers note it says her name is Lily Lupin. You will find out why it is like that later in my story :)

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We practically flew up those steps. It's a wonder we didn't both stumble and fall. Flinging his door open I try to catch my breath. 

"Harry...have...you...gone...mad?" I asked breathlessly. He was acting out of character.

He didn't say much he was to busy stuffing things into his trunk. I took this as an initiative to do the same. I gathered my things together and followed him back down the stairs where Vernon was awaiting us.

"Bring her back! Bring her back!" He kept repeating. His voice was between frightened and pleading but yet still angry. I tried to keep my eyes low. I didn't dare want to look them in the eyes.

Harry held up his wand to Vernon who laughed crazily. "YOU CAN'T USE MAGIC OUT OF SCHOOL!" He bellowed in Harry's face.

Harry did not waver under his Uncle's fierceness. "I was kicked out remember?" His voice was low and spooky. Vernon's eyes got beady and he backed against the wall.

"Harry!" I found myself yelling. Wrenching open the door I began to walk out and Harry eventually followed. I heard it slam closed behind us and lock.

Harry was stomping off into the night. Anger was clearly still bubbling up inside him. I just fell in step behind him. I knew this was a horrible idea. I used this time to think about my dad. He had escaped from prison, and came here? Why? Did he know that I was here?

I was in such a daze I hadn't noticed Harry had stopped and plopped down onto the sidewalk. So naturally with all of my gracefulness I tripped over his legs and fell head first onto the pavement.

"Lily!" He yelled in shock.

My face stung and I wanted to stay embedded in the cement. I felt stupid.

"Are you alright?" He called to my unmoving body.

Finally I sat up slowly. "Oh...ya. hah. It's just my pride that is hurt..." Smiling at him I noticed his anger had seemed to cease.

Looking into his eyes my heart began to beat faster and faster. He was leaning into me...then his lips touched mine ever so lightly. His lips were soft and seemed to sink into mine. Much unlike Ricks. Suddenly a dog barked gruffly and made us both jump and look around. I saw it first. He was huge, black, and very mangly. He looked like a stray. At first I thought nothing of it, but it was those eyes that caught me. It was my dad.

"What...is...LUMANOS!" Harry shouted trying to get a better glance at the dog.

Glancing at my dad he looked at me as if to say, "_He's not supposed to know I'm here."_ Thinking fast I stuck my foot out and Harry fell to the ground.

"BANG!"

Suddenly there stood a bus in the middle of the street. The doors swung open and an extremely strange boy hung out. He began saying something but my attention was adverted to Harry trying to get a better glance at the dog.

"What are you looking at?" The boy asked Harry.

Harry seemed startled, "Erm...uh...nothing...nothing..."

"Well did you want a ride or not?"

Harry seemed dumbfounded as of what to say. So I answered for him, "Yes! Thank you!" The boy smiled pleasantly for a moment...then it turned to a frown. he seemed to be trying to hide what it was he was reading.

Getting into the bus Harry saw what the boy had been reading. "Hey that's the guy that was on the muggle news."

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end once again and I had a moment where I wanted to attack the boy and wrench the newspaper from his handing beating him with it for he was giving me the most awful look.

_"He knows."_

The thought raced through my mind. Could people actually know I was Sirius's daughter? Surely not...but if they did...what did that mean for me?

"I'm Stan Stunpike. What's yours?" He questioned both of us.

We both stood frozen for a couple of minutes trying to think of something to say. "I'm Neville Longbottom." Harry replied.

"Neville, eh? You sure...you look awfully familiar..."

Harry began to flatten his hair over his scar, "Nope...I have never seen you in my life." He handed Stan the money and went to sit down on one of the beds. Stan then turned to me.

"I'm Lily Lupin."

He didn't believe me. I had told him the truth...would he connect me to Sirius?

"You know this man?" He pulled out the newspaper and I saw my fathers face holding up a prison sign in the clothes he had been wearing when I first saw him looking extremely agitated.

"No...never." I lied through my teeth.

"Lupin...eh? Never heard that one. You best sit down. You will want to hold on tight."

Walking to the bed Harry was at I sat down next to him. Harry was giving me a look.

"Why did..." But before he could finish his sentence the bus had taken off and we were jolted backwards. Gripping one of the bars on the bed I tried hard not to scream. The scenery outside the windows was going by so fast you couldn't even tell what was a building and what was a car.

"Don't...muggles...see...this?" Harry asked through gritted teeth.

Stan laughed. "Hah. No it goes to fast you see. They don't see a thing."

Relaxing just a little I looked around to see a man sleeping in a bed just a few down from us. Sleeping. How on earth could he be sleeping? Wouldn't you fall out of the bed?

"You know Neville...you look a lot like that Harry Potter fellow."

Harry put back his head and laughed. "Harry Potter? No...definitely not me." I just stared at Harry. He was the most handsome thing I had ever laid eyes on. I wanted to wrap my arms around him again just as we had done this morning, but I knew taking my hands off the safety of the bed post wouldn't be a smart idea.

"So...Lily is it? You also look familiar...you look a lot like..."

"BANG!" The bus sounded again and Stan was taken by surprise this time. He fell into the hand rail. Grunting he tried to stand.

"This is our stop!" I said pleasantly. I wanted nothing more than to get away from Stan. I didn't want anyone to know I was the daughter of a possible murder. It probably wasn't a good thing to be going around.

Stepping inside the leaky cauldron we were met with none other than Cornelius Fudge. He came blubbering toward us. He was not a fat man, but then again he was not skinny. He was unreasonably short and just seemed ridiculously stupid.

"Harry! Lily! So nice to see you this fine...night!" Stan's eyes widened.

"Hey! You are Harry Potter!" Stan almost screamed.

Fudge's eyes narrowed on him. "Thank you for bringing the luggage here..." Handing him a small tip he shooed Stan away.

"Please...follow me." Slowly we fell into step behind the Prime Minister.

Behind his back Harry scooted closer to me and carefully took the tips of my fingers. My heart began to flutter I wanted so bad to kiss his sweet soft lips. Fudge was mouthing off at something but I paid no attention. I was listening to Harry's heart beat just like mine.

"Why don't we have a seat in this sitting room over here." Fudge suggested. Harry quickly pulled his hand away from mine before Fudge could notice.

A wave of confusion and hurt washed over me. He was quickly walking ahead of me into the room. I was still standing in the place where he had let go of my hand with a sorrowful surprised look on my face.

"Erm...is something wrong Lily?" Fudge questioned me.

Startled I looked up at him smiling. "Um...no...no sir sorry sort of zoned there I guess."

Giving me a sideways glance he managed a smile and issued me into the room and I took a seat beside Harry. There was a small sort of table in front of us with a few plates fulls of food. The servant kept offering Harry and me food but I never once really paid that much attention to him.

My mind was wondering. Harry didn't want anyone to know of our sort of relationship. Why would he not want that? Why does he want to keep me distant? It felt as if my whole perfect little world had crashed down upon me once again. I had been foolish to think it would all be fine after that night. I was a foolish girl.

Tears were springing to my eyes and I had to blink furiously to keep them from falling. Thankfully Fudge had such a huge mouth he didn't see my blubbering across from him. Hanging my head I glanced to my left at Harry. He was staring at Fudge as if he was listening careful not to glance back at me.

Suddenly Fudge directed the conversation to me taking me out of my thoughts, "Lily I wish to speak to you apart from Harry. So Harry could you please wait in the corridor? Thank you."

Surprised I looked up at Harry who gave me a half smile and was escorted out by the servant who had a name but I couldn't remember. I followed them out with my eyes trying to focus my attention on what the servant had said his name was. I didn't want to look at Fudge I was afraid he was there to arrest both Harry and me for doing magic out of Hogwarts.

"Lily." His voice was hushed. Surprised at his change of tone I looked back at him.

"You know your father has escaped from Azkaban?"

I sat there flabbergasted. What should I say? My mind raced for information. I couldn't rat out my own father. I wouldn't. He was the only blood relative that I had as far that I knew. I didn't care if he did commit those murders I would not say a word to Fudge about him.

"Yes I saw the papers and the muggle news." I tried to keep my voice calm and soft so Fudge would not suspect anything.

"You are in harms way Lily! You must understand this...he...well he is very dangerous. I know he is your father...but he is very dangerous. You will be safe here, but if you see him please contact me at once. You and Harry will stay here for the time being you are not expelled from Hogwarts. There...well there you will be safe. Please do not release this information to Harry. I don't want to worry the poor bloke. Well knowing him...well you know him..."

I said nothing. My lips were pursed together and my eyes were ablaze. I wanted to shout at him. I wanted to punch him so hard he fell over in his chair. My father...MY father _dangerous_! He had to be insane. Standing up I pushed my chair back my gaze never leaving Fudge. For a moment he looked afraid of me.

"Is that...all?" I asked coolly. I was trying to cool my anger down for I knew that exploding at the Prime Minister would not be a favorable decision.

"You look a lot like your father. It's the eyes." Was all he said.

_"It's the eyes."_ His voice rang in my ears. I paused right before I opened the door. Then curtly I turned around and gave that wry smile that I had also inherited from my father, "I'm more like him than you think." Winking I wrenched open the door and right before I slammed it shut I saw fear wash over his eyes.

"He is ready for you I presume." I told Harry never fully looking at him. Tossing my nose in the air I followed the servant to where I would be staying.

Walking into my room I felt like a princess. It was the biggest room I had ever been in. Even bigger than the one that all 4 of us had slept in in the orphanage. The bed could fit at least 5 people in it. Fudge must have given Harry and I the biggest rooms to make sure we were comfortable. That was until I noticed that both of our things were in the room. Hedwig and Moony were tweeting at each other apparently bickering just as Harry and I were. There was a huge window right across from the door. Walking over to it I noticed it looked out onto the wizarding part of the world. Everyone was bustling around the streets getting supplies for the next year at Hogwarts.

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_A/N: Okay there is Chapter 6 :) I hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 7 will be skipping ahead to them boarding the train :) So please R&R_

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	7. Chapter 7 Hogwarts

°×Disclaimer Note×°

So we are skipping ahead to Harry, Hermione, Ron,and Lily boarding the train. I hope you have liked the story so far. I'm trying to make it really good. So please R&R thanks.

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Boarding the train we began to search for a place to sit, but each compartment was filled. 

"Look why don't we just take this one?" Hermione asked.

Looking in it we saw a shabby man asleep on one of the seats. Walking in I took place right beside him and Harry sat by me much to my distaste. I was still rather irritated with him. Ron looked extremely uncomfortable having the man in there.

"Who do you think that is?" Ron asked.

"It's Remus Lupin." Ron looked at Hermione with disgust, "Do you know everything?" He spat at her.

Clearly irritated she pointed up above his head. "It's on his suitcase Ron." With that she turned away from him and looked out the window.

_"Remus Lupin" _Lupin? That was my last name. Sirius's last name was Black but that wasn't mine. Or that's not the one that I had grown up with. Could my name have been changed. That's when my hand gently stroked Mr. Lupin's and my world went dark once again.

This time I wasn't afraid. I was eager to see the vision.

The black changed to sunlight. I was standing in the Hogwarts ground near the whomping willow. Meredith and Moony were talking silently. Quickly I raced towards them so I could hear what they were saying.

"Remus...my heart it pangs for him everyday but I just know...I just know if I marry him what will become of us."

"Remus" That was Moony's real name. He wasn't my dad...or was he? Could she have had an affair with Lupin? No...I looked so much like Sirius. This was impossible. Completely impossible. How was I to understand any of this?

"Meredith...my heart pangs for you...what if..." She shook her head not allowing him to finish his sentence.

Angrily he began to walk off. "Remus! Remus please!"

She chased after him. Which caused me to run after them so I could hear too.

"Remus please just listen to me!" Stopping he whirled around to face her.

"You can't do this Meredith! You just can't! He is my best friend and you have to choose! It's either me or him! It's not both! You can't go on like this you just can't! I don't want to hear anymore of your visions or feelings that you feel! Can you feel my feelings now! Can you feel my heart breaking in front of you! Apparently not! No Meredith I will not wait you have caused me enough agony for one lifetime!"

Suddenly pain overwhelmed my heart and I began to scream. Meredith was doubling over in pain as I was. Suddenly she sprang up and grabbed Lupin's hand.

"Remus! There I feel her...I _feel _her again!" She was pointing directly at me.

"YOUR SICK!" He shouted and stomped away.

She fell down to the ground crying. "Meredith! Meredith!"

Turning I saw Sirius's form running down towards Meredith and me. I was standing feet away from Meredith by now, and Sirius seemed to pass right through me on his way to kneel by Meredith. For a moment he paused and looked up at me and then shook his head and turned back to his love.

"Mer?" Standing up she began to walk away from him.

"I can't do this Sirius. I just can't" She began to run towards the direction Lupin had gone leaving Sirius and I standing next to each other.

"She's going to come back to you, you know?" I told him. I knew he couldn't hear me, but I just figured I would say it.

For a moment he seemed as if he had heard me. Kicking a rock he began to walk up towards the castle and pain seemed to wash over me. Worse than the pain I had endured from Harry letting go of my hand. It felt as if I was drowning in sadness. Falling to my knees I tried to gasp for air. Looking at Sirius I noticed he was crying. Could I feel emotions?

_"Can you feel my feelings now! Can you feel my heart breaking in front of you!"_

Could Meredith feel other people's feeling as well as see visions? Would I be as messed up as Meredith was? Cold was sweeping over me. Extreme cold and I began to hear screaming. Who was screaming? Looking around I saw no one. It was no where close to cold, but I was in a vision how could I feel that anyway? The screams were piercing my ears and the blackness came differently this time. It was like it punched me in the face I was thrown backwards, and when I came out of it I was on the floor.

A hooded figure loomed over the doorway and was coming for me. Fear and dread spread through me. The compartment was dreadfully cold and dark. I tried to move but I couldn't. Suddenly I felt the fur surround me and I came somewhat warmer. The fear and sorrow lessened upon me. The hooded figure was getting closer to Harry. Growling I jumped up onto the seat and began growling and barking at the figure. I could hear the screams again.

"Harry! Harry! Nooooo! Noooo! Save Harry!" I knew who it was that was screaming and I knew that the screams were coming from Harry's mind.

The hooded figure was closing in on us desperate attempt to protect him was not working. Suddenly Remus jumped up and shouted something and the figure disappeared. The lights came back on and the cold went away. Hermione and Ron were staring at me with their mouths open and their eyes wide. Harry was just now waking up. Quickly I turned back into myself Lupin was staring at me in disbelief.

"Who was screaming! Who was it? Where...where were the screams coming from?" Harry asked all of us.

"Harry...no one was screaming." Hermione finally piped up.

Lupin handed a piece of chocolate to all of us. "It will make you feel better eat up. I will be right back I'm going to check on something."

With that he walked out and left us to stare at Harry. Putting out my hand I helped him up and he sat down shakily in the seat. "Did...did any of you...pass out like I did?

We shook our heads. I didn't know what to say to him. He looked so sad but irritated at the same time. Biting my lip I racked my brain trying so hard to figure out something to say to him. Slowly he bit into the chocolate.

"You want my piece?" Holding it out to him I tried to smile. He gave me a strange look.

"Oh so now you feel sorry for me so you aren't mad at me anymore?" He spat at me.

Angrily I slammed the piece of chocolate in his face and ran out of the compartment down the hall in search of Lupin. Many of the students were out of the compartments and looking around trying to figure out what the hooded figures had been. Everyone was bumping into one another and shouting. I saw Lupin trying to calm down a first year.

"Lupin!" I shouted as loud as I could. He didn't hear me. My voice was drowned out by everyone elses. "Lupin!" I shouted again becoming closer to him. He looked around this time. My heart raced. Suddenly the doos to the train opened and everyone began tumbling out. Lupin was lost from my view once again. It would be impossible for me to move back to the compartment we had been sitting in. There were to many people. So instead of going for my things I chased after the direction I figured Lupin had gone in.

"Lupin!" No one turned. Where had he gone?

"Lily! Lily! Over here!" Turning I saw Hermione jumping up and down waving her arms.

Reluctantly I walked over to her. "Sorry." I muttered. Grabbing my things I followed after them to the carriages. The ride to Hogwarts was a quiet one. None of us really said a word. It was just small talk.

Once we got to the Great Hall it was better. After the sorting hat completed the sorting and everyone was sitting Dumbledore rose smiling magnificent as always.

"Please give applause to our new defense against the dark arts teacher Professor Lupin!"

Lupin's eyes were on me I could feel them, and I could hear his voice in my head.

_"She looks exactly like her mother, but those eyes and that smile screams that she's her father's daughter. Surely she didn't inherit her father's reckless behavior and her mother's insanity. She's extraordinarily beautiful more so than her mother was. Does she know who I am? Surely she couldn't...who does she have to tell her. Unless...no Sirius wouldn't have gone to her. If he had she would be dead. Or would he go so far to kill her? Didn't he try to once before or had that been a mistake?" _

My heart thudded to the ground. He even believed that my father was evil along with everyone else. Surely...surely there was someone that believed in him. He couldn't be evil. I refused to believe my own father was a killer.

Looking up from my plate I saw Dumbledore was still rambling on. "...sorry for there disturbance but just know that if you pass those gates they will give mercy to no one...there is no getting past them..."

I stopped listening I didn't really care. I wanted to just get up and walk into my dormitory. Everything was going wrong again. "What's wrong Lily?" Hermione whispered in my ear.

Shaking my head at her I mouthed: "Tell you later."

Soon after the feast Hermione and I walked away from the boys and to our dormitories. I heard Ron behind us whispering to Harry, "What's up with them?" Ignoring him Hermione and I ran upstairs and into our room.

"So what's up with you?" Sitting beside her on her bed I debated what all I should tell her. Before I could open my mouth though Ginny came running in the room.

"Lily, Harry told me to give this to you." She was breathless and her eyes were wide. Taking the letter from her she ran out and down the stairs.

"What is up with her? She was acting strange..." Hermione commented. I ignored her I didn't really care. "What does it say?" Walking towards the window I opened it.

_Lily,  
I'm sorry for hurting you. I know I hurt your feelings when I broke away from you under Fudge's gaze. I'm just afraid. I don't want to show that kind of emotion towards you with Voldemort around. If he knew how much I liked you...you would be the first one he went after. Lily...with out you. Well without you I would have nothing. So please forgive me and don't hold this against me. I really do care for you._

_Harry._

My heart flip flopped. "Lily? What does it say?" Turning back to Hermione I handed her the letter and went back to the window and sat on the window sill. Hermione didn't say anything for awhile she knew that I needed some time alone. At one point she left the room completely. Turning around I closed my eyes trying to turn into a dog again. After a couple tries I got it.

Running out of the dormitory I scurried down the steps and into the common room. Hermione, Ron, and Harry were all sitting around the fire. Quickly I dashed out the portrait. Loping down the stairs I ran as fast as I could towards the defense against the dark arts room. I had to talk to him. I had to know why he was not on his best friends side. Pushing the door open with my nose I strode inside. Lupin was sitting at his desk looking over what was probably plans for his first lesson. Upon seeing me he leaped up and drew his wand.

"Sirius? You know I am not on your side. I know you have not come here to seek shelter with me!"

Quickly I transformed back into myself. "Professor Lupin please! It's me, Lily." Closing the door behind me I neared him.

"Lily...you look...well you look...never..."

"I look exactly like him in dog form yes I know." He said nothing. For several minutes he was silent. I knew he couldn't believe that I knew anything about him.

"Lily...you know he's..."

"That's what I came to talk to you about. How could his best friend...how could you not believe his innocence!"

He seemed shocked by this. Slamming his hand down on the table he bellowed, "Lily he killed your mother! He is the reason that Harry's parents are dead! He told! He...told Voldemort where they were...where you were! How do you know that he doesn't want you dead as well! He is a follower!"

I couldn't believe what he was saying. No there was no way my father was on Voldemorts side. No way. I refused to believe that. If he was why didn't he just kill me?

Walking towards him I shook my head, "I won't believe this! No my father...no he wouldn't do that."

"YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!" He bellowed leaving me frozen in position. Grabbing my shoulders he hissed, "Lily don't do this to yourself. Don't make him into something you he's not."

My heart was racing and my head was spinning it was a feeling I had never experienced before. Throwing my arms around him I pressed my lips against his. Passion raced through my veins. His hands moved from my shoulders to hugging my back. His fingers pressed into my back and sent through tingles up and down my spine. His lips were gentle and flowed over mine.We must have realized at the same moment what was happening because we both pulled away at the same time.

"I'm sorry." I gasped. Taking several steps away wiping my mouth. "I'm so so sorry."

Resting against his desk he looked around trying to decipher what had just happened. "You're 14...I..."

"No! Oh gosh...no I didn't...no. Harry...and...me..." I stopped talking. What had I done? I was like my mother, and I didn't want to be. She had cheated on Sirius and I had...possibly cheated on Harry. We weren't really together. Either way I felt horrible.

"Lily...you are truly beautiful and your your mother's daughter. Truly..."

"NO!" I screamed taking him by surprise.

"I saw what she did to you...I saw how you were so angry with her...no I don't want to be like her..."

Putting his hand to his head he shook his head. "You saw? You get the visions as well?"

I had no idea what to tell him. Furious I kicked a nearby chair. "See you in class Professor." Turning into my father's dog I bounded out the room and to the portrait. The Fat Lady was asleep which didn't really surprise me. Turning back into myself angrily I hissed, "Oh would you wake up?"

Opening her eyes sleepily she eyed me furiously. "What are you doing up anyway! PASSWORD!" Her voice echoed the corridors. She had been loud on purpose.

"Tortuga."

Climbing in I walked silently into the Common Room. No one was in there. Thankfully they had all gone to bed. I hadn't been out that long had I?

"Lily?"

Spinning around I saw Harry standing at the bottom of the steps. "Where are you coming from?"

Biting my lip I tried hard to think of an excuse. "Oh...I was just..attending to...Moony."

He didn't believe me. I didn't blame him either that was the lamest excuse I could have ever thought of. He was fidgeting uncomfortably trying to find something to say to me. The awkward silence was unbearable.

"Got your letter." I tried hard to smile but I could tell from the expression on his face it wasn't a very convincing smile.

"Oh." Was all he managed to say.

"Um...well I guess I should be getting off to bed then."

He looked distraught. I felt horrible to be in his presence after kissing another man, a teacher...The thought disturbed me more and more that I thought of it. He had even been one of Sirius's best friends. What would he think of me? Probably think I was a slut and disown me.

"It's hard to sleep with out you."

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe he had just said that. "Harry...I can't...I thought..."

He nodded and said nothing more. I could tell he felt foolish and he began to go back upstairs.

"Goodnight Harry..."

He said nothing and just kept walking. My heart broke. Goodnight Harry...how stupid was I? Slowly I made my way up the stairs fully prepared for a restless sleep.

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_A/N: Okay. Another Chapter finished :) I hope you like it! Remember to review I'd greatly appreciate it. _


	8. Chapter 8 The Shrieking Shack

°×Disclaimer Note×°

okay :) i've updated _a lot _in the past couple of days. Here goes the 8th chapter...dang. I really hope yall have liked it so far. I'm trying to make it more and more interesting. Thank you for the reviews so far it would be nice to get some more so I know how I'm doing. If you have any suggestions please feel free to make them. Okay here we go with the next chapter.

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Ever since that night with Lupin Hermione had been on my case. Asking me questions every chance she got about where I had gone that night. I had refused to answer her every time. She had been acting very suspicious herself. Or that is what Ron kept bringing up. 

_"She's always disappearing."  
"Where has Hermione gone...she was right here! Right there!"  
"She is taking so many classes most of them are at the same time! How does she do that? How are you in two places at once?"_

Ron was doing it again going on and on about Hermione on our way to Potions class. "She is supposed to be here...and I bet she will be late again..."

Rolling my eyes I ignored him fixing my attention on Harry. He looked very tired and sad. I wanted to grab onto him and never let him go, but I knew that i couldn't.

"Harry? Are you alright?" I asked Harry interrupting Ron out of his tirade about Hermione.

Shaking his head as if to wake himself he smiled a half smile at me and nodded. "Just tired."

Opening the door to our Potions class we took our seats. Sitting in my usual seat this time Harry sat beside me. Ron looked at the two of us sadly for a moment and took a place by Neville.

"I've missed you." Harry whispered. Just after he said it Snape came bounding into the room so that I could not answer.

"Good afternoon." He spoke in his cool greasy voice. He was eyeing me suspiciously.

Just then Hermione raced into the classroom gasping, "Sorry I'm late Professor!" Taking a seat in the back she began hurriedly taking out her possessions. The whole class had their eyes on her.

"Enough!" He called. His voice rang through the dungeons walls.

Looking into his eyes I wondered how his life had been so far. He had never looked happy a day in life since I had seen him. I almost felt sorry for him except for he treated all of us horribly. He was looking back at me and it seemed as if he could read my mind. Could he bare the same power as me? Or could you just gain that skill after years of work?

His eyes broke away from me and he began talking about the next potion we would mix. My mind wondered and I scarcely heard what he had to say. Finally he stopped talking and gave me an opening to talk to Harry.

"What do you mean you've missed me?"

Harry squirmed in his seat. "Well ever since that night you spent with me I haven't really been able to sleep. I keep thinking about you."

For a moment my heart began to soar with delight, but then I remembered what I had done with Lupin. It was still fresh in my mind, and I couldn't bare to tell Harry. I had to tell him sometime, but I just couldn't now.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I just felt awful telling you in the letter we couldn't see each other. I'm stupid. I do want to be with you Lily. I like you a lot...sometimes though...well I feel as if you are keeping something from me..." He trailed off and looked nervous about what I would say to that.

His last sentence though I hung onto. It reminded me of what Sirius had said about my mother.

_"She was a very confusing woman. She held lots of secrets that she would not let me in on."_

Would I share the same fate as my mother? Falling in love with Harry and him never completely trusting me. I had to tell him. I just had to tell him everything.

"Harry...I'm sorry I just..." Stopping I looked up to see Snape standing in front of our table.

"Have you done anything Ms. Black." My heart stopped. What had he just called me?

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"See me after class." Whipping around he strutted back to his desk.

Harry looked at me confused. "What is your real name?" He seemed almost furious with me. "So you are keeping secrets from me that you don't even tell me your real name?"

Before I could answer Snape interrupted as if on purpose. "Okay everyone bring up your viles of the potion you have concocted."

Dipping his vile into his potion he angrily took it up to Snape and stomped out of the classroom. Looking down into my cauldron I winced. My potion wasn't even close to what it should be. However, I still filled up the vile and took it to Snape standing beside him until everyone in the class had drained out.

"Tell me Ms. Black have you seen your father lately?"

He was looking directly into my eyes. The way I do people when I try to read their minds. My mind was racing I tried to keep the encounter with my father out of my head but I could tell he had seen all that he needed to to answer his question. I did not need to speak the answer.

"Why do you keep calling me that, sir?"

"Ms. Black?"

Nodding my head he did not answer me for a long time. "What is your name then?"

"It's Lupin sir, Lily Lupin."

Standing up he walked into his office calling me after him. His office was very strange. There were stacks of oddly concoctions everywhere. Up and down the room in every crook and cranny. The door shut by itself and we would have been completely immersed in darkness had he not had a lamp in the corner. Which made the objects in the jars cast eerie shadows on his face.

"Lily do you know who your father was?"

"Don't you mean is?" I spat at him. Anger was rising in me. Did he take me for a fool?

Leaning over his desk he eyed me suspiciously. "Do not take that tone with me. Or you will be seeing countless days of detention." His voice was so low and hot I could barely hear it and had to strain to catch what he said.

"Your father Lily is Sirius Black. The man who murdered one of his best friends and 13 other muggles, selflessly. He laughed when he did it. Your name is not Lily Lupin. Dumbledore gave you that name going into the orphanage so you would not be scrutinized for it. I would have thought you understood that by now. I guess I was mistaken." His words were cold but they had a sort of humor on them, as if he was enjoying calling me an idiot.

"By the way...your father is very dangerous. Not turning him in could get you expelled or turned into Azkaban." His face was almost turned into a smile.

Leaning closer to him so I could practically smell the grease on his nose I whispered, "He is my dad, and what you are convicting him for is a lie. Even if I had seen him I wouldn't turn him in."

Before he could say anymore to me I yanked open the door and strode out of his room and out of the classroom. Pausing in the Grand Hall I decided that I would rather not go to Gryffindor Tower and try to explain myself to all of my friends.

Instead I went outside and was glad I did it because it was beautiful. The sun was just setting and casting reds, oranges, and yellows on the castle walls making it look as if the brick was made of glitter. The hills were rolling oceans of grass, and Hagrid's hut was a lonely old island sitting in the middle of nowhere.

Looking down I saw that Crookshanks had come to pay me a little visit. He was purring and rubbing against my leg trying to look pretty and innocent. That's when I saw a piece of paper sticking out of his collar.

"What ya got there?"

Meowing at me he laid down at my feet. Slowly I bent down and took the paper from his collar it had my name printed on it. My heart started to speed up. Opening it I quickly began to read.

_My Dearest Daughter Lily,  
How have you been lately? I've been watching you from afar and you seem upset. Please come visit me. Crookshanks will know what to do. Just tell him to take you to me._

_Sirius_.

He was still purring at me and looked eager to take me to my dad, but I didn't want to go. What if what everyone had said was true? What if he was truly a murderer. Then I could be walking into a trap. Even his best friend believed him to be a killer. Lupin's words began to fill my head again.

_"He is the reason that Harry's parents are dead! Lily don't do this to yourself. Don't make him into something you he's not."_

I refused to believe him. I knew I hadn't misjudged him. Shaking my head I tried to forget Lupin's words. He was my only father and I would trust him. If he was a killer maybe there was no reason for me to live.

"Crookshanks...take me to Sirius."

He knew exactly what I had said, and I could have sworn I could see him smile. Quickly he bounded off towards the direction of the Weeping Willow tree.

"Wait!" I called after him.

I hoped no one could see me because I looked absolutely ridiculous chasing after a cat towards the most dangerous tree. Crookshanks dove at the tree and hit the root with its paw and the tree stopped swaying and stood completely still just like a regular tree. Turning back he looked at me and dove into the trunk of the tree. Looking up at Gryffindor Tower I prayed no one could see me doing what I was about to do. Quickly I turned into a dog and chased after Crookshanks.

Inside the tree it was dark and creepy. Desperately I wished that Harry was with me. I had lost sight of Crookshanks but it seemed like I could make it from here alone. It was dark ahead and I could barely make out what I was walking into. After walking for several minutes I noticed that the ground's texture had changed from tree roots to broken boards. Seeing a set of stairs I slowly crept up them turning back into a human. Walking into the room I looked around. All of it was in shams. There was a broken bed and the windows were boarded up. My eyes scanned quickly for Sirius.

"Hello."

Jumping I drew my wand and turned towards the voice.

"Whoa!" Smiling at me he held out his arms just as he did before.

"No. Not this time dad. You have got some explaining to do."

His smile faded and his head hung low. "Who have you been talking to, Moony?"

Walking over to the bed he sat down and heaved a huge sigh. "Of all the people even he doesn't believe my story, and I so hoped that he would."

"Have you talked to him?" I inquired.

Shaking his head he leaned back. "No. It would be to dangerous I have...other...plans I must go through with first."

"Like killing Harry and me!" I bellowed. I couldn't help it. I couldn't keep it in any longer. I was shaking all over and my eyes were fire.

Sitting straight up I could tell this was the wrong thing to say to him. Apparently I had inherited my hot temper from him.

"Fine! If even you don't believe me just leave! Just leave! You don't need me anyway remember! THEN JUST LEAVE!"

Gripping my wand tighter I raised my wand and screamed, "** EXPELLIARMUS!"**

Shooting backwards he slammed into the wall and slid to the ground making the whole room shake and creak threateningly. Jumping up he had a loose board in his hand and was trying to decide if he should throw it at me.

"Go ahead! Go ahead and throw it! So you were weren't you! You want to killy Harry and me!"

Angrily he threw the piece of wood down. "Oh yes! That is what I wanted to do! Kill the only person in this world that I still care for! The one that was supposed to believe me! I thought at least of all people you would believe me, but I guess I was wrong!"

Tears slid from my eyes. I had been stupid. In my heart I had known that I was convicting him wrongly. I had known he was being wrongly accused all this time. Hadn't I been defending every chance I got? Then why had I denied him to his face?"

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say.

"It's fine...I shouldn't have gotten so worked up." He whispered.

We were silent for a long time afraid to say anything more. To much had been said already. My mind was spinning again threatening to make me spout out questions again. I decided carefully on one that wouldn't cause a heated argument and would break this awkward silence that had fallen down upon us.

"What's my name dad?"

He seemed taken back by the question. "What's your name? Are you serious? It's Lily Rain Black. What else would it have been?"

"I've been told all my life that it was Lily Lupin."

He tilted his head back and laughed hugely. It was good to see him like that. It seemed as if he hadn't laughed in awhile because he didn't stop laughing for several minutes. Finally he looked so silly and young again that I had to join in laughing as well.

"Lily Lupin eh? Ha...well that's something."

"Snape told me Dumbledore changed my name to avoid conflict."

His smile faded and I felt horrible for bringing it up."

"Snape." He mouthed. I knew he was going back to memory land, but this time I kept my mind close I didn't want to go into anyone else's memories for a while.

To pull him out I decided to continue talking. "Why would he need to change my name? What is this story that you are a murderer?"

Sitting down once again he took a breath. "Lily do you know what a secret keeper is?"

Shaking my head I went to sit next to him.

"It's someone who has been trusted with a secret. You see Lily and James had to go into hiding because the Dark Lord was after them. It was dark times then Lily. Very dark there were fights all the time. People were dropping dead like bombs. James came to me to become their secret keeper but I refused. I knew the Dark Lord would immediately assume it was me. I was James's closest friend...so naturally I suggested Pettigrew..." He trailed off for several minutes.

Afraid to push him on with the story I sat patiently. His eyes were sad and he still seemed as if he was about to break at any moment. It saddened me to see him like this. I wished desperately that I could make it better, but I could tell even though he seemed to despise her he missed my mother greatly. That look on his face when he had seen her in my vision was priceless. I knew he would never again look like that.

Finally he started again, "You see I suggested Pettigrew not knowing at the time Pettigrew well he was a follower of Voldemort. He ratted out their location to Voldemort and that's why they died. So of course everyone naturally thought I was the secret keeper just like I knew they would, and so they believed me as the traitor. Once Voldemort blew me out of the window that one night I woke up after the destruction had happened, and raced to find Pettigrew. You see...Lupin well he is a werewolf. He was bitten some time ago, and this place we are sitting in, the Shrieking Shack was made for him. James, Pettigrew, and I made ourselves into animagus's illegally and no one ever found out. We did this for Moony so he wouldn't be alone whenever he transformed. Well that night that I went after him I found him. I didn't care that there were muggles all around. I just wanted my revenge. I had to kill him. I just had to. Stupid rat before I could kill him he cut off some of his fingers and did the curse for me killing the muggles around and he disappeared. Crookshanks had been wonderful enough to find that the rat of Ron's isn't really a rat, it's Pettigrew. So that's why I'm here. It's not to kill you or Harry. I'm here to kill Pettigrew."

Getting up I paced the room for a moment. "Well what if I just bring him to you?"

He shook his head. "No. He knows you will be trying to do it. Just wait for the opportune moment. I know there will be one. I will get him don't you worry about me. It's getting late. Now that you know the truth maybe it will help, but you need to go before people get suspicious."

"No. I don't want to leave you just yet. I only just got here..."

Shaking his head he stood up. "Lily please. You can't draw attention to yourself. Everyone is watching you they know that you are on my side. You are a Black and I don't want you to feel ashamed you are my daughter. I'm sorry that I have brought this upon you. One of these days it will all be okay. Just please go back into the castle."

Giving him a hug something fell to the ground. "Oh! Sorry."

Bending down to pick it up I froze. It was a picture. Staring back at me was a picture of my dad and mum smiling and kissing. They looked so happy. Her hair was exactly like mine, long and a dark brown. She was hugging on Sirius laughing and kissing him. He had his arms around her and would occasionally spin her around and around. He looked much better than he did now. He was so young and in love. Happy there. Tears sprang to my eyes. At one point they had been okay and happy.

"Oh I meant to give that to you. That one and these two..." Pulling out another picture he handed it to me.

One of them held a picture of all of us. Sirius had his arm around James and they were both smiling slyly looking younger than I knew they were. Meredith and Lily stood together smiling holding Harry and me. Everyone was smiling and so happy no one knew of the pain that would cause both families such a loss. Or had Meredith known? Her smile wasn't as happy as the one that had been in the other photograph.

The next one was only us three. Sirius's arm was around Meredith and she was looking down at me smiling. For a moment it seemed that when she looked at the camera she was crying. Blinking my eyes I looked again. When she looked at the camera this time she was still smiling. Had I just imagined that?

"She was so beautiful just like you Lily."

Smiling at him I hugged him once more. "Thanks dad. I'll see you later?"

He just smiled and nodded. He looked tired and sad once again. Slowly I turned around and bounded out of the Shrieking Shack.

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_ A/N: Okay another chapter done :) please tell me what you thought of it! I would be much obliged :)_


	9. Chapter 9 The Marauders

**Okay so here is Chapter 9. I would really really appreciate if ya'll would tell me how you liked this story. So please review.**

_ "I wished your love away Honestly over you One lie short of true Honestly over you You turned a man to stone For lookin at you straight in the eyes So I'll drive away with all my things Though I've a faint belief in everything_**_" _  
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Walking into the common room I saw Harry sitting alone in a chair by the fire. It was quiet everyone had gone to bed but him. Why had he waited up for me? Wasn't he furious with me? 

"You are in late. What were you doing making up a new name to tell me?" He spat at me.

I felt horrible but I knew what I would tell him he would never believe.

"Please Harry you must know I really...really I didn't know..."

By the look in his eyes I could tell there was no trust and no chance that he would ever believe my stories. To him all I said was a lie. Walking towards him I sank to my knees at his feet. Touching his hand gently I looked at him sadly.

"No." Yanking his hand away he stood up and walked away from me.

"I can't believe I trusted you! I knew you were keeping things from me. Of all things though I figured you would at least tell me what your name was! Why would you change your last name! What have you to hide?"

I had nothing to say to him. I knew if I told him Sirius Black was my dad he wouldn't believe the story I had to tell him. He wouldn't believe it all. He would think of me crazier then he did now. He would go around telling everyone where my dad was and he would be executed.

"Look Harry it's late why don't we talk about this tomorrow at Hogsmead?"

Kicking a chair he glared at me. "Thanks to you I'm not going! My uncle didn't sign it because you ruined it!"

My heart sank. He would never forgive me. I knew this was the time to tell him. If he had to be mad at me let him get it all out at once. Maybe after I told him this it would be better.

"Harry you were right I was hiding something from you, but it wasn't my name. It was about Professor Lupin. Right after you sent me that letter that you couldn't be with me I left. I had questions for him and well...I kissed him..."

He stood looking at me completely taken off guard. His facial expression made it seem as if I had just slashed his heart out. Which I probably had in a manner of speaking.

"Your sick." Turning on his heels he stormed up into his dormitory.

Getting up I slowly walked up the steps to my bed. Hermione and Ginny were already fast asleep. Slowly I changed into my shirt and pants that I slept in. My heart broke that Harry and I were fighting. What if he never did forgive me? Pausing before I got into bed I suddenly knew what I had to do.

Running down the steps I ran up into the boys dormitory. Slowly on tiptoe I walked to where I knew Harry and Ron's room was.

"Lily what are you doin up here?" Turning slowly I saw Fred grinning from ear to ear at me.

Smiling I shook my head. "Oh nothing...I just...got lost..."

Laughing he took my hand. "Well here let me show you were to go...I want to show you something."

Taking me into the room I saw that him and George were the only ones away thankfully.

"We saw you coming." George said with a sly smile.

Confused I looked down at the sheet of paper they were looking at. Sitting on the bed I saw that it was a map of Hogwarts. There were little ribbons for everyone. Dumbledore was pacing in his study and Snape was up to no good in his office.

"This is brilliant guys were did you get this!"

Smiling they nodded their head. "We owe it all to Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. Those guys are the best."

My heart stopped and my smile slipped off onto the floor. Grabbing the map I saw for sure that it was by them.

"That's my dad...and Harry's dad...and Professor Lupin!"

They froze giving me strange looks. "Well...er...you can have it since it is your dad's. We know all the secret passage ways. Oh and to mend things with you and Harry show him that this right here..." Pointing to a secret passageway he continued, "Is where Harry can go to sneak into Hogsmead. Enjoy!"

Smiling I hugged them both happily. "Thanks you guys you have no idea how much this means to me!"

"Mischief Managed." Slowly the ink drained from the pages and it looked to be just a bare piece of parchment.

Slowly I crept into the room were Harry slept. Tiptoeing I made my way to Harry's bed and pulled the curtains around it. Kneeling onto the bed I kissed Harry on the cheek and whispered, "Scoot over."

Waking up he looked at me. "Are you serious? Do you really..."

Kissing him I lowered him down to his pillow. "Harry I've made many mistakes but it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

He seemed to take this sentence as an apology. Pulling the covers back he allowed me under them and cuddled up close to me just as we had done that one night.

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Awaking in the middle of the night I stared at Harry's gentle face. He was sleeping soundly. Inching closer to him I wrapped my arm around him and kissed his hot cheek. 

"I have to go now." I whispered in his ear.

Nodding he gave me a tight hug and fell back to sleep. I wasn't for sure he had really understood what I had said. Looking through the drawers in his nightstand I found a piece of parchment and quill.

_Dear Harry,_

_Sorry that I had to leave you. I didn't want any awkward encounters early in the morning. I'm leaving this other piece of parchment here. Fred and George gave it to me. It is secretly a map. Use it to get to Hogsmeade tomorrow. I will prolly have to join you I don't believe I will be able to get in as well. I will show you how to use it tomorrow. Sleep well my love._

_love Lily._

Pushing back the drapes I started my way out of the room and down into the common room. It was empty and dark. Making my way up the stairs I climbed into my own bed falling right to sleep.

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Turning over a couple hours later I saw the morning light exploding into my eyes. The memories of last night washed over me leaving a permanent smile on my face. Getting up I slipped on some pants and my usual white button down shirt. 

"Hey Lily!" Ginny called.

Turning I saw her coming out of the bathroom with wet hair. Without even trying her thoughts came flooding into my head.

_Harry likes her. Of course he does I mean why wouldn't he? She is beautiful...unlike me. I bet she likes him too and they will grow old together and leave me bitter and lonely._

Biting my lip I looked away from her. She hated me because of Harry. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her give me a sort of sad look.

"Lily! Come down hurry! Everyone is getting ready to go to Hogsmeade!" Hermione exclaimed.

I knew they probably wouldn't allow me to go. I could get permission but that would mean that I was in contact with my dad and it would ruin all of his plans. Going down to the common room we waited for Harry and Ron to come down.

"Hermione I really don't think they will let me go..."

"Oh Lily of course they will who do you have to sign the papers anyway? Do you even know who your parents are?"

Taking her wrist I yanked her to a secluded part of the common room.

"Yes...as a matter of fact I do know who my dad is, but my mom is more of a mystery."

She looked bewildered, "Lily how do you know this? Who are they?"

Taking a deep breath I whispered in her ear, "Sirius and Meredith Black."

Gasping she stepped back covering her mouth trying not to scream.

"Sirius Black!" She hissed.

"Hey!" Ron and Harry called.

Both of us jumped at the sounds of their voices.

"Wow you are a bit jumpy today what has gotten into you two?"

Both of us quickly shook our heads.

"Oh nothing...just you know...girl stuff." Hermione quickly answered.

Ron gave her a weird look then replied, "Well...alright...should we go down there now? Sorry Harry and Lily that you can't go. Don't worry we will buy you loads of stuff."

Walking to stand by Harry we both just smiled and nodded.

"You aren't going to try Lily?" Hermione asked giving me a wry look.

"Oh no...I don't wanna leave Harry all by himself anyway! I'm sure we will find something to do while ya'll are gone."

Nodding they both left. Sitting down we gave them a few minutes to get out of our way. Grabbing his hand I lead him back up into his dormitory eager to pull the map out again.

"Where is it?" I whispered once we got in.

Slamming the door shut he locked it and pulled out the map.

"Right here, but I don't see much of a map. Are you...well are you sure that this isn't a hoax?" He asked uneasily.

Taking it from his hands I just rolled they eyes and then muttered the words, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

The ink bled into the paper showing the makers names.

"Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail. Who do you think they are?"

Looking at him I tried to decide if I should tell him. If I did tell him he would not to know how I knew. That would lead to me telling him that my father was Sirius Black the guy who wanted to kill us. I couldn't say anything so for right now it would just have to be yet another secret that I held from him.

"No clue, but hey we need to get down there soon. Come on let's go."

* * *

It took us forever to walk through the tunnel. It seemed like it went miles and miles and miles. Finally reaching the end I carefully eased up the stoned trap door that apparently lead to a store. 

Turning back to Harry I whispered, "Put on the cloak I'll turn into a dog and follow you..."

Looking confused he hissed, "You can't see me Lily I will be invisible."

"I know that but I can sense you..."

Rolling his eyes he did as I said. Quickly I transformed into my dog form and ran up the stairs and into the pub. No one seemed to notice us. Looking around I saw that Ron and Hermione were sitting at a nearby table drinking butterbeer. Running up to them I jumped in an empty seat and I could tell Harry did the same.

"LILY?" Hermione hissed.

Quickly I turned into my human self smiling. Harry ripped off his cloak bearing the same sly smile.

"Awesome!" Ron said as he clapped hands with Harry.

"Neither one of you should be here! You should see the security. Sirius Black is..." Her voice trailed away remembering that he was my dad.

"Oh don't worry about it Hermione! Harry could get rid of him in a flash anyway! I'm sure he is not a big threat."

My throat tightened at Ron's words and I had to look at the floor to keep myself from telling him off.

"Erm...why don't we go looking around?" Hermione quickly said trying to change the conversation. Nodding in agreement I just slipped under Harry's cloak this time instead of turning into a dog.

After a few minutes outside we caught wind of Professor McGonagalls conversation.

"Minerva you must tell us the story with this Sirius Black fella."

Harry and I got rigid and he immediately began to follow right behind them and I was forced to stay with him. I didn't want to hear this. I knew what was going to happen.

"Harry! NO!" Hermione hissed at him but it was to late we were gone.

Professor and her friends had gone into the pub and Harry and I had followed. They lead us into some sort of room that was quiet and stationary.

"Okay Minerva now please tell us this story about Sirius Black..."

I thought her voice would never end. She told the story of how my father was a betrayer and a killer. I had to stand there next to Harry as if I knew none of it.

"But what is worse...Sirius was Harry's Godfather, and well he is the father to one of the students in the school: Lily Black."

My heart stopped. She had blown my cover. I could feel Harry shaking with anger, but I didn't dare look at him. Wrenching open the door he bounded out of room and out into the cold once again. Hermione and Ron must have seen our footprints because when we eventually stopped they were right behind us.

Ripping off the cloak he glared at me. "How could you! HOW COULD YOU! YOU KNEW YOU KNEW EVERYTHING!"

My heart stopped I couldn't think of what to say. "You are just like him! A liar and a betrayer! Have you heard the story before? Huh? Have you heard it before? Have you _seen _him yet? You are protecting him aren't you! HE KILLED MY PARENTS!"

Hermione and Ron were aghast looking from me to Harry.

"Harry he is innocent..."

"INNOCENT! INNOCENT! DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

Closing my eyes I looked away for a moment. I couldn't stand this. I didn't want it to be like this. I noticed we were in perfect view of the Shrieking Shack were my father could be witnessing this conversation.

Turning back around I punched him in the face. "I am not an idiot! He is innocent and I can not tell you the true..."

Suddenly Ron began to flip out screaming. "Ow! SCABBERS OW!"

Wrenching my wand out of my pocket I pointed it at the rat who was staring at me with fearful eyes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU MAD!" Ron screamed at me.

My hand shook and I wanted to scream a curse at him. I wanted to kill the rat, but I knew better. I knew that if I did that I would fail my father. He was so close though. So close.

"You see your crazy just like your dad."

Shaking my head at him I took the map out. "The Maruaders who do you think they are? Padfoot is my dad, Sirius, Prongs is your dad, Lupin is Moony, and Wormtail is Pettigrew."

The rat screamed louder and tried to continue to bite Ron. My eyes never moved from the rat's.

"How do you know this! Have you spoken to him! YOU HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM!"

Turning towards Harry I put my wand up staring at him. "Sometimes Harry you need to remember there are two different perspectives in one story."

Staring at me in disbelief he spat, "You are full of shit."

"No Harry you are. There are none so blind as those who do not see. The truth is rarely pure and never simple. You should give people the benefit of the doubt before suspecting them of something."

Transforming back into a dog I raised my head and let out a loud howl. Off in the distance I heard one matching mine. I knew it was Sirius. Turning back one last time I looked at the squirming fearful rat. Jumping the barbed wire fence I loped in the direction my father sat awaiting me.

* * *

_A/N: Okay end of chapter. :) please review. i would really really really appreciate it. thanks._


	10. Chapter 10 The Fight

**Here we go with Chapter 10. Please review. :) Oh p.s. the words that are in bold are spells in the story...the spelling I got from various websites...so if that is not correct please let me know. I didn't really want to go through the books myself and look for the right spelling. Sorry lol. Some spells I made up myself so if you don't recognize a couple its because I made them up. :) **

_"You look pretty good, for all that you've seen You're smiles still as bright as its ever been You wont show your eye, scared that they might Show all the world what you told me last night And you're so tired of just being alive You're so sad you could just cry I'd sing you the sweetest songs, and hold you so long. And make you forget all the reasons you talked about leaving this place If you're thinking about leaving I could give you a reason to stay"_

* * *

Running along the slope of the hill I could here nothing. My ears were deaf to everything. I hated every single step I took because it was away from the only person that had cared for so long. With every footstep came the sound of my heart ripping. I wanted to turn back more than anything I wanted to turn back, but I had to be faithful to a man I hardly knew. Tears blurred my eyes making it impossible to see the familiar shape of my father.

My mind began to swirl with thoughts. I couldn't believe how this had happened. I had finally made up with Harry and something like this had to happen. Maybe we just weren't meant to be. The thought of Harry not being in my life anymore was heart wrenching. I couldn't not have him he meant to so much to me. Was this secret really that important that it had to risk losing my friends?

A howl interrupted my thoughts. Stopping short I lifted my nose up to the wind. A familiar scent bit at my nose. Darting towards the direction I hoped that he was standing. Running up a hill I saw him sitting quietly next to a huge tree. Slowing my pace I transformed back into myself and wiped my eyes. Taking a deep breath I slowly approached him.

He immediately knew what was wrong. I couldn't keep my feelings from showing. I told him everything. It just flowed out of my mouth like word vomit. I confessed my feelings for his best friends son, and how I had messed it up so bad with him. That everyone thought I was a traitor like you, and Snape took special time just to torment me because he knew I knew were you were. When I finally had finished I was crying my eyes out onto his shoulder.

"Shhh..." He coaxed me patting my back.

We stood there for along time not saying nothing. I knew he was lost for words. I mean what could you say to that? He had only just met back up with me after so many long years and so many tragic accidents. I shouldn't expect him to just know how to be a great dad. Nevertheless, it still sort of hurt me he didn't even try to find something to say. He just sat there looking out into the blank trees. I didn't even want to search his mind to know what he was thinking about.

"So the rat...what did you say about the rat?" He whispered hesitantly.

Turning to look at him I felt my heart jerk. Out of all the things to say he went right back to his obsession. Did he really care for me? Or did he just care because I looked like my mom, and it reminded him of her. Or I was just a step closer to killing the stupid traitor rat. Anger was boiling through me.

"Yes the rat...or Peter was freaking out the whole time. Biting at Ron's fingers and desperately trying to free himself from Ron's grip. Surprise surprise. Nothing knew he has been acting strange since forever ago." I spat extremely agitated.

Of course he didn't notice my agitation and continued on with his thought process talking to himself for several minutes. Each minute that passed built on my rage. Gripping my wand tightly I thought about just blasting him through the tree and yelling at him for being an idiot. When a noise brought both of us out of our thought processes. Hastily I stood up and searched the premises. I saw nothing. What had that been?

"Lily?" A voice clearly called in the distance.

Sirius sat dumbfounded staring at me. Grabbing his shoulder I yanked him up.

"Are you mad? Will you run! If they catch you you'll be fed to the dementors! RUN!" I bellowed in his ear.

Quickly without saying a word of goodbye much to my disappointment he transformed and barreled off into the distance. His shape was soon lost into the distance heading out to his hideaway place beneath the Whomping Willow.

"Liiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The person bellowed once more.

Should I stay or call out to them? Or should I follow my fathers pattern and run? My heart was pounding in my head which made it impossible to decide. Turning back into a dog I slipped into the shadows, and listened carefully to the voice to see if I could tell who it was calling me.

"LIIIIILLLLLYYYYYY!" This time it was much louder and more familiar, but I was still unsure if I should come out of hiding.

A little ways off I saw 3 familiar figures advancing towards me. One looked as if they had spotted me, but I was still unsure so I stayed frozen in my position.

It was to late to run now so I started my way towards them. I mean after all they were my friends what would they do to me?

**"FLIPENDO!**" Harry bellowed pointing his wand at my chest.

Screaming I flew backwards into the tree I had been leaning on just moments ago peacefully with my dad. Angrily I tried to stand, but before I could get my wand and protect myself Ron shouted another spell at me.

**"Expecto Patronum!" **His voice quivered as he said it, however, it was still enough to disarm me and send a sting throughout my already bunged up body.

All three stood firmly planted to the ground wands aimed directly at my chest.

"So what is this? What were you going to do next, kill me?" I spat at them.

I was hurt I couldn't believe my best friends would assume that I would go with a so called "convicted killer" and work against everything I had been working for. Especially Hermione! After all I had told her _everything. _Had she just thought I was crazy and confided in all of them with the information I had released to her?

"Well I would have if Hermione and Ron hadn't been here!" Harry retorted at me.

Hatred screamed throughout my body as I stared into those emerald eyes that I had loved just a few hours before.

"I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

Challenging him I rolled over grabbed my wand, and before he could even think of a remark shouted, **"Terea givearsahtio!"**

His wand flew out of his hands and he sailed backwards into a neighboring tree. Hermione and Ron advanced upon me and I shouted, "Don't do it! Don't you dare challenge me also! Ya'll are supposed to be my friends! Why don't you trust me!"

They stood silent for a few moments not knowing what to do or say. Slowly they lowered their wands, however, Harry was recovering by now.

"DON'T TRUST HER!" He spat. "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING! SHE IS HIDING A KILLER! SOMEONE WHO KILLED _MY _PARENTS!"

They said nothing both just looked down at their feet. "Leave them out of this." I whispered.

He stared at me his eyes were wild and he looked as if he was going to tear me limb from limb with his bare teeth. "How could you do this?" He suddenly asked his eyes seemed slightly calmer for some reason.

"I haven't done anything. Harry do you honestly think that I would help the man who killed your parents? I lost my mother as well! Please? Could you just please believe me here that nothing is going on. That we are in no danger because of my dad."

He had picked up his wand without my knowing and I knew he was trying to catch me off guard. He didn't believe me never would he believe me.

"I can't make you trust me Harry. That's something I should have gained from you a long time ago. Of all the people I would think you would lay your trust upon me. Harry I know that I've messed up..."

Without even thinking he shot a curse at me that erupted pain into my body. It traveled through my blood stream and into my heart. I couldn't tell if this was from the spell or because Harry did not believe me. Breathing became extremely hard and I couldn't see straight. The world began to spin and I thought for sure he would kill me now.

Blinking my eyes I hadn't noticed that I was on the ground and didn't know if I could stand again. Through the tops of the trees I could see the sun was setting and I was sure people would start noticing our dissaperance. Pushing myself up I looked around trying to find Harry.

To my horror I saw a large dog on top of Harry with its teeth bared. He looked to stunned to do anything, and Hermione and Ron were standing back afraid if they did something they would hit Harry. Blindly I groped for my wand not willing to tear my eyes away from the scene. Finding my wand I paused.

Surely Sirius wouldn't reveal his identity. It was to soon...way to soon. What would happen? But what would happen if he didn't? What if Harry tried to kill me again? Maybe this would all blow over...no that was wishful thinking. I knew what I had to do. Standing up I raised my wand.

"**Expelliramous**!"

Sirius flew off of Harry and landed somewhat off into the distance. Harry leaped up and grabbed his wand pointing it at me again.

"Why would you do that?" He hissed at me.

Exasperated I retorted, "Because you jumped to conclusions about everything! I would listen to your side of the story, but you don't want to hear mine! Whatever Harry I've gone through a lot with you and by now you should know that I wouldn't betray you! I wouldn't betray any of you, but you hear one thing and you just go off! Maybe you should stop jumping to conclusions and start listening more carefully!"

Stomping away from him I headed towards the castle. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe I had lost him...yet again. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. Whizzing around I held my wand up ready for the attack. Jumping back he held his hands up.

"It is just me Lily..." Harry whispered.

Huffing I muttered, "Great hear to throw me on the ground again?"

Kicking the dirt he spit back, "Well I was going to apologize but you are to busy giving smart ass remarks all the time to listen to me! I may jump to conclusions but you run away!"

Slapping him across the face I screamed, "That is the worst apology I have ever heard in my whole life! You don't sound sorry at all!"

Rubbing his face he glared at me. "Well that is just to damn bad."

"Humph." Turning on my heels I began to walk away yet again. I couldn't believe the way he was acting!

"Lily wait I didn't mean it!"

Whirling back around to face him venom poured out of my mouth, "Well then why did you say it! I have loved you ever since day one and you treat me worse than Snape! I guess you just don't want me like I wanted you! Well you know what Harry I'm tired of your crap!"

Immediately after the words leaked from my mouth I wished that I could take them back. His face looked as if I had been slapping him for the past hour. Biting my lip I looked into his eyes and suddenly heard his thoughts mixed in with mine.

_What have I done? She is right I have been stringing her along and I shouldn't have. I love her too, but what is the use now? She is already tired of me. I can't believe what I have thrown away._

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm sorry..."

Shaking his head he held up his hand, "No you are right please don't apologize. I'm sorry Lily."

* * *

**_A/N: Okay so I finally finished this chapter after monnnnthhhs and mooonnntthhhs later. :) So please please review it would be greatly appreciated._**


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